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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Why So Serious?

It's a valid question. Please note that in the oh-so-flattering picture to the right, my facial muscles were relaxed; I really did look that bad immediately upon leaving the dentist's office.

Here's the thing. There is extensive work required in my mouth, mostly because I lost my night-guard when I moved house about six years ago, and therefore (since I'm a grinder/clencher, or I wouldn't need a night guard in the first place), I tend to pop old fillings loose in my sleep. Crud gets under these and they get infected. This particular one started really hurting a few days ago, and it turned out to be two teeth (numbers 3 and 4), in the top right quadrant. One of them needed to be extracted and the other a root canal. Okay, pain in the... neck, but doable. Even when it turned out they both need extraction.

Disclaimer: this is where tonight's post is rather less family-friendly than usual, because my internal monologue is both profane and obscene, especially when I am in the throes of pain/terror/nitrous oxide. You have been warned.

Dr. C is nice, and his voice is soothing. Which is good, 'cause, you know, dentist and all. Goddammit. I mean I like them and all but this is getting way too frequent, and...whoa, what the fuck is that thing? Is that what they call 'dental pliers'? I sure hope so 'cause it looks more like blacksmith tongs from this angle! Hey. Hey! Those don't bend! Knock it off! (interjections show excitement or emotion, they're generally set apart from a sentence by an exclamation point, or by a comma when the feeling's not as... ). Oh right, I'm supposed to raise my left hand if I need a break - oh shit, I've lost track of which is my left hand. Hmm.... this one, right? I mean left, tee hee. Oh forget this right and left shit, my jaw aches...

And so it went for three hours or so. Complications. Turns out that one of those teeth had a root that went all the way through my gum and bone into my sinus cavity. So this becomes an even more delicate procedure, since we don't want to turn the damn thing into a tunnel. And after the surgery is all done, and the whatsit-caine has worn off, it hurts all the way up into my right nostril, not to mention the extraction area itself, my jaw, etc. I suppose I'll never sleep again; they gave me prednisone to reduce swelling along with the antibiotics and painkiller narcotics.

On the up side, they may have found the root (pun definitely intended!) of the recurring sinus infections I've had my entire adult life. And wouldn't that be cool?