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Thursday, July 10, 2014

Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha

No, I am not Hindu.

But I am studying The Peoples and Cultures of Asia this session, and when we got to India we did, of course, have a class discussion on the Hindu pantheon. And my instructor mentioned that Ganesh is the Remover of Obstacles.

I half-jokingly remarked that I should look into that, as I need a few obstacles removed. And she sent me the mantra of Ganesh, which one says in multiples of nine. As with any prayer or mantra or meditation, one also has to remember that what you want isn't always what you need.

In this case it occurred to me (mantras to Ganesh can't hurt and might help) that my biggest obstacle is that I am pretty much too proud to ask for help. I've done it once in a while, but generally I take that very American Pioneer attitude of do-it-my-own-self.

If you check out that first link, you will see that really, I'm not able to do it myself. Or even with Laston's help and that of our respective families.

Oh, we can and are slooooowllllllly pulling out of the financial hole we've gotten ourselves into. But when my Check Engine light came on, I realized that we are one car repair from disaster (it was the gas cap in this case. But it could have been something bad).

Or (deit(ies) forbid) it could be an E.R. situation, with an unlabeled pistachio and an epi-pen.

Now some of this mess is happenstance and completely out of our control. I didn't ask to be injured the day before we moved in here, while in a job with no insurance (and no paid leave for illness or injury), a week before the medical insurance kicked in at the beginning of 2014. Nor did Laston ask to hurt his back that same week.

Some of it, however, was a case of Poor Communication Kills (don't click. Don't even click. Click and you're dead). We made overenthusiastic-new-homeowner purchasing choices. We spent like we were still making good-money-with-great-benefits. We each thought the other had paid this bill or that, and we didn't check.

But with the exception of that one post we were too proud to ask for help for the most part.

Now pride is not always a bad thing. I'm proud that Lizzy is a super reader. I'm proud that Leanna is doing well in school. I'm proud that Abby has the soft skills that make life easier.

I'm proud that Laston has had some stories published.

I'm proud that I have lost 20 pounds in 15 weeks.

I'm even proud that we are taking a good hard look at our finances and seeing where we can pare things down. We're already living in a cheaper place, and growing some of our own food. With Laston working for the cable company and me for the phone company we're getting deep discounts on those services. We both (finally) have stable jobs with decent benefits at the same time.

And I don't know whether it was Ganesh, or my own ability to (finally) slow down and look at the problem instead of careening through panic. Or a matter of coincidence. So I decided to swallow the damn pride and ask for help. If I can get five bucks from 200 people, that's enough to pay all sorts of things, and still have that buffer in case the next time the Check Engine light is something serious.

So please, feel free to check out this link, give if you've got some to spare. Send hugs and kisses if you don't.

Boost the signal all you like, because you know what?

I'm not too proud to ask for help.