So I've been home sick today, and I wasn't even online for most of it (just the Cold of Doom - more formally known as "Viral Sinusitis with Complications of Laryngitis and Viral Bronchitis" - doesn't that sound fancy?) and so when hubby brought the kids in, they pounced on me (figuratively speaking) for some good ol' Momma Time. This began with this classic:
Abby(8): "My friends and me are making you a get well card in school, and one of my friends got in big trouble - she had to go out in the hallway to have a talk with the teacher - for saying S can't play with me 'cause I'm white and S is black and you're not s'poseta say that in school 'cause the Martin Luther King Jr stuff was all over like thousands of years ago and we're s'poseta be nice to everybody whether they have different skin than ours or not and besides, I like S! (takes a breath) Lizzy, we have to be nice and calm for Mama, she's sick and tired."
Lizzy(3): "I'm half squirrel!"
I had spent the bulk of the day napping in front of Red Dwarf and The Adventures of Brisco County Jr (I so love Netflix), so this onslaught was a little tough to take. And then Abby pouts because I don't believe she's half vampire, and I explain in my rusty creaky voice that Lizzy being half squirrel is far more accurate a description than Abby being half vampire.
She's not buying it.
She's doing her math homework and now I understand what hubby was experiencing last week when she asked him to help with her math and it turned out she wanted him to role-play out the shopkeeper (you know, the one who is selling three toy telephones at 96¢ each and how much change will he need if you give him a five dollar bill?). Today it was my turn.