Malaprops and Mondegreens

Note - all links on this post ARE safe for work and kids, in spite of how the text appears.

Kids are full of malapropisms and mondegreens and sometimes they save their parents from embarrassment thereby. Tonight, for instance, I said under my breath (but not under enough, apparently), "Lizzy, you're being a pain in the ass". She heard me but thanks to Lady Mondegreen, she responded with a giggle and a "Mama, I'm a El, not a Ess!"

We get a lot of these at Chez Gamers' Babes, often in the classic misheard lyrics sense. In some cases this works well and in others not so much. ("Mom, what does 'lusting' mean?" "Um... remember when Jafar wanted to marry Jasmine so he could get the throne of Agrabah? He was lusting after the throne.") And then there are the basic mispronunciations. Not sure why Abby says "Oh my goodnyess", but she does.

The unintentionally funny remarks are great too: Abby thinks this character has "big balls", Lizzy wants to "play with Daddy's heavy balls" (note: do NOT search for that on your own. It's Not Pretty), and Abby's characters on her video game are "stoned" (she means "turned to stone"; in the game it's listed as "petrified".)

These things are endemic around here, and the fact that our kids have very rich spoken vocabularies for their respective ages just adds to the hilarity.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here's the one I was looking for; finally found it (the scene is our living room, after dinner):

Stepdad: How was your day, Abby?
Abby: Good! We learned how to measure salamanders!
Stepdad and Mom: Um....
Abby: No, wait! We learned how to measure WITH salamanders
Pause
Pause
Stepdad (in slightly strangled tone): How do you get them to hold still?
Abby: Like this! (whips out a ruler)
Stepdad: That doesn't look anything like a salamander...
Abby: No, the beTWEEN parts.
Stepdad and Mom: Ohhhhhhh - centimeters!
Abby: Yeah! Salamanders!