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Saturday, March 10, 2012

Sweating the Small Stuff

There's a difference between modesty and self-deprecation. I often have trouble believing I'm as capable as I am, because it seems immodest to me to acknowledge it, especially out loud. I worry about people thinking I'm a self-aggrandizing bitch when I brag, so my humor tends to be of the self-deprecating sort.

Some of you - especially those I know in real life - may have noticed this once or twice.

But I've been in school now since August 15th, and you know what?

I'm a damn good student.

Even with all the crap of last session, I got an A- in both of my classes. My lowest score thus far at the University of Phoenix is a B+, and that was in my first block of classes.

Who knew?

I mean, I wasn't a good student back in the day; I was bright enough but I'm just wired differently than the schools were capable of dealing with in the 1980's. They have more resources now. But I am a mom and wife, hunting for a job full time, helping my kids with their schooling, and seasonally depressed... and yet I have a 3.67 GPA.

This is amazing to me.

I have any number of friends and acquaintances who will either nod wisely - "See, we told you!" - or scoff - "Why do you have so much trouble believing you can do this?" - and they're right.

So when you see me tearing myself down over something small, remind me not to sweat it. Please?