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Sunday, November 13, 2011

Funny Kids Say Funny Things

Lizzy (4) just tried to read me a book. She started with, "It was a porning day outside" (it's raining hard in the book). There was a mental picture I didn't need.

When Abby was tiny - maybe two - she used to run around the house yelling "I stepped on Daddy's cock!" (she meant to say clock, and was referring to the bathroom scale).

Our lives are full of these things, or the blog wouldn't have the title it does.

Abby cannot pronounce the word goodness without adding a Y, Russian style - as in goodnyess. She'll be nine in just under a month.

I told Lizzy last month that she was being a pain in the neck, and she said - in shocked tones - "Mama, kids say pain in the neck. Gwonups is sposta say pain in the ass!"

It took years of patient repetition and intervention by the good folk at Nick Jr - thanks, Blue's Clues! - to convince Abby that twelve and a dozen are the same thing. She may still believe - in spite of being able to read now - that the ultra-rich  Powerpuff Girls villain is named Princess Morfox, not Princess Morbucks.

Leanna (11) refuses to admit that the word for a get-your-own-food restaurant is pronounced buff-AY, does not care that it comes from the French, and insists that it's buff-ET.

Kids are strange little people.