Dammit.
And my house is a wreck, my rent is being jacked up when the lease expires in August, and when even the Hubs gets a cleaning bug, it's time to buckle down.
Because math makes me panic - the Hubs was very careful when he suggested that my block might be emotional rather than physiological, and it's both - because math makes me panic, I have decided I'm going to go back to scheduling out my days. Not just dentist on Thursday but dentist on Thursday at 10. Not just homework done by end of week but math homework from 9-11, vacuuming from 11-11:30, lunch from 11:30-12, cleaning kitchen from 12-12:30, and job hunting from 12:30-2.
Because if I don't, when there's something (like math) that ramps up my anxiety levels, the rest of the stuff won't get done. The need to make lists and the issues with higher-than-arithmetic math are part of the same physiological learning disability - a sequencing thing. Add the (yes, dear) emotional panic on top and nothing gets done. Plus I get bitchy.
Don't worry, there'll be plenty of time built in for other (fun) stuff, like after the dinner dishes are done there'll be nothing but the usual round of getting Lizzy to bed and spending an hour watching Doctor Who with Abby. And after Abby goes to bed my time is my own.
The Hubs'll have to pitch in with putting Lizzy to bed one night or two a week while I hit the University's scheduled math tutoring hours. Lizzy's extra job will be cleaning under the dining room table (and Leanna's when she's here; the two of them drop more food...). Abby's will be taking out the garbage and recycling. They all put away their own folded laundry and tidy up their room already.
I need a new notebook.
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