Random thoughts in January 2023

• 

  Image description: a Bitmoji cartoon of me,
  a chubby, fair-skinned, green-eyed,
  brunette-with-gray person wearing blue winter clothing
  and smirking; the caption reads "challenge accepted!"

  I am very glad that my younger child's usual food craving is canned green beans. Note: get more canned green beans.

• I wish Apple had a way to put ActivitySharing notifications in their own folder. I love the kudos and well wishes, but it would be nice if I didn't have to scroll through them all to get at my regular texts, like hey-could-you-pick-up-some-milk and the like.

• And on that note, I yogaed too hard and too fast yesterday. I'm a little sore in spots. Nothing slower and more controlled yoga (plus ibuprofen and a hot shower) can't cure.

• I see that the apples and oranges comparisons are fast and furious this weekend.

• Inazuma is zappy. Piemon is still a menace. It made me feel anxious, so I went back to Liyue for the Lantern Festival.

• The voice actors and event themes in Genshin Impact amuse me. Yesterday's gameplay was all Mulan ("Let's get down to business") and My Hero Acadamia (in Bakugo's voice) and Tangled (floating lanterns).

• I called a cartoon character a brat yesterday. And it wasn't even Caillou. Or Junior.

• Or Piemon.

• I have paperwork to do today.

• And laundry.

• And assisting with Lizzy's Finals Week prep.

• And assisting Abby with her paperwork for school.

• That's... well, that's it. A day (off) in the life.

I Am Having a Day

Image description: a Bitmoji cartoon of me,
a chubby, fair-skinned, green-eyed, brunette-with-gray
 person wearing blue winter clothing
and looking uncomfortable, with the caption UGH.

Nothing bad, just One of Those Days™.

A Day when I hit every red light and ended up behind every school bus or garbage truck.

A Day when I don't feel ill, but I feel worn down.

A Day when I feel guilty for not being able to do All The Things™ even though I know better.

A Day when I feel guilty because my problems really aren't all that big a deal in the grand scheme of things or compared to others' problems... even though I know better there, too.

I loathe these kinds of days.

I've spoken before, both here and on Vocal, about how much I struggle with not being able to find a reason to point to regarding minor upticks in anxiety or depression or Those Days or whatever. I hate it. Hate being unable to find a solid trigger for this crappy mood.

I know it's irrational; sometimes moods just happen. I've said so myself, not too long ago. I mean, it doesn't have to have a solid, point-at-able trigger; it could have one I haven't registered consciously, like hormonal shifts or allergens in the air or last night's change in the weather. It probably does.

But I don't have to like it.

So there.

Move

Image description: a Bitmoji cartoon of me,
a chubby, fair-skinned, green-eyed,
brunette-with-gray person wearing blue
winter clothing, in yoga warrior pose

 Yes, folks, that is my resolution goal single word.

One of my favorite communities on Facebook had a thought that rather than making resolutions or even setting a goal, we might want to try just choosing a single word to represent these things for 2023.

My word is MOVE.

Not as in moving house (I sure hope not), but as in moving my body.

Resolutions such as "lose 80 pounds" or "exercise x minutes every day" or even (god help me) extra super-duper-specific ones like "forego this particular favorite food (like most dairy) out of your diet because it's Bad For You" have not served me well.

Simpler, more general goals like "lose weight" or "exercise more" or "cut down on x food" or (heh) "don't be a bitch" are better, but I still run into trouble with feeling guilty for not doing "necessary things" before self-care things.

I got an Apple Watch for Christmas (thanks, Dad!) and I'm finding it very useful. Those Activity Circles had best be closed by the end of each day, people. And I decided to hell with it, I'm 54, and I refuse to be embarrassed anymore about doing yoga modified for the elderly or the obese. I'll do what I can when I can, and I'll try to close those circles, but as the nice yoga-for-seniors instructors on YouTube keep reminding me: if I can't do some move or another on a given day, that's fine. Just modify (or skip) and move on.

Same with food. Today was a bad day for food, probably because I've been eating all the rich (and often dairy-laden) food for two weeks. So I'm backpedaling to stuff I know is safe - baked potato, asparagus, and leftover pork roast.

So that's it.

MOVE

Random Thoughts, December 2022

A bitmoji cartoon of me, a fair-skinned,
 green-eyed, brunette-with-grey person,
looking thoughtful, in a blue sweater and a
black cap with a blue flower. There is also
a thoughtful emoji in a thought bubble.

Random Thoughts, personal, professional, political, emotional, mental, social, you name it, there's probably a thought about it here.

• I am proud of my kids.

• People need to find something else to do with their lives besides defaming other folks on the internet.

• I wonder if some of those very people will be annoyed at my use of the gender-neutral term "folks" since my blog posts almost always go public instead of friends-only.

• I really adore some of my students this year. All so different, and awesome in their own ways.

• Lizzy is making a birthday card for her sister (Abby was 20 yesterday), as well as giving her three presents and cooking her favorite meal. 

• When Lizzy is invested in something, she does not fool around.

• That reminds me; I need to help Lizzy with her google search terms for a Biology project.

• I was pretty down this fall. And then it rained and I suddenly felt fine. Rain represents normalcy in my area in November and December.

• Had a lovely time yesterday; Dad took the whole fam (except those unable to make it) on a Christmas Cruise and then out to dinner. Lots of masks in evidence, which made me feel safer.

• Pouring down rain, though.

• I did not know that my brother is prone to motion sickness until yesterday.

• Twenty, for crying out loud.

• Not feeling icky anymore, as stated above. But I do still want to hibernate. I mean, fish, berries, honey, sleep. Sounds pretty good, actually. Soy una osa.

• Thank goodness school is out at the end of this week.

• Is it wrong of me to be happy that one of my students isn't going to school on the last day before break, just because I want to sleep in?

• I broke out the socialist snowplow meme again a couple weeks ago. I'll probably need it again in February or so.

• Hoo boy, some of my workmates love their soccer.

• Must put "buy gift wrap" on my to-do list. 

• Must write said to-do list for the week.

<wanders off to google "bone marrow" and to write to-do list>

I Don't Understand

I mean, I get that LGBTQ+ people are under attack, always, by people who think it's wrong. And generally, people who assume that it's All About Sex™, never mind that LGBTQ+ people are just going about their daily lives. These kinds of assumptions say more about the person doing the assuming, and they think a lot more about sex itself (especially other people's sex and gender and presentation) than anyone I know.

What I don't understand is why.

Just for existing, even in their own spaces?

Yet another shooting, this time in a Colorado gay bar. Of people who are just there in their own space, doing their own thing, and not bothering you. 

Except for their very existence, I guess.

Yeah, yeah, bible-murica-muh-guns-alpha-male, whatever.

I've read the Bible cover to cover (twice, two different versions), I've lived in the US my whole life, I've handled guns, and I'm mentally ill (GAD and SAD). And white and fat and female. Oh, yes, and ASD/ADHD, since people usually pull that one out as either a defense (couldn't help it) or as another disenfranchised group to vilify as "part of the problem." 

They are not the problem, you hypocrites. You are. 

You can't say "God is Love" and "God hates [f-slur]" in the same breath. 

That's bullshit.

It's just hatred of stuff you don't understand, you don't try to understand, but really you just can't be bothered to understand anyone who isn't a straight white male "Christian."

And that's what I don't understand.

An Air and a Spare…

I thought about calling it “back on the road again“ but I figured that one has been done to death. And since the only thing in my news feed besides politics and/or billionaires imploding is Prince Harry and Company, the title seemed apt. 

So anyone who has seen me in person or a few people who have not but who know me pretty well are aware that my car, a Honda Odyssey 2002 minivan, is getting old and decrepit and tired. It started life as my dad’s car, was Laston’s car while he was sick, and then it was bequearhed to me and also Abby learns to drive in it. It’s just tired and rode hard and put away wet.

So yesterday I got a flat tire. Not a huge deal but also kind of urgent because I have to get back to work. One of my coworkers came to pick me up and all was well for the time being. But the tire was still flat and I couldn’t change it where I had pulled it over to the side of the road and evidently AT&T’s roadside assistance is either having a busy week or just Having Issues. This may have something to do with their roadside assist people being in Tennessee when I am in Seattle. A little far for things like landmarks and how to get from point a to point b for dispatching purposes.

But I digress. I took mom‘s car to work this morning (all my coworkers thought it was great, by the way, because it’s a cute little purple Honda Fit and they thought I had gotten a new car) and then Abby took it to school while I waited for the guy to come change my tire to my spare.

My mom is very generous with the use of her car, especially since covid started.

Anyway the guy came and changed my tire to the spare (we’ve never had so use the spare before so it needed air, which he had) and I took it to the tire place down by my work, about a half mile away. I checked my car in (two new tires and new wiper blades) and they said they’ll try to have it done by the time I get off work at five but they can’t promise it’ll be done before six. Good enough.

For me this is a fairly long walk to work, but I’ve built in plenty of time so I can chill out in my work building before I clock in and catch my breath. It’s an issue with those of us who are less active in our daily lives, but I think I’m going to get a lot of extra steps today. 

I also think it sounds like a (healthyish) comfort food via take out kind of evening after work today. When Abby picks Lizzy up from the school bus stop, I will suggest our local sushi place. https://sushihana5.com/ (I would have invented that but I can’t figure out the control for it on my phone, where I am writing this post)