Random Thoughts, December 2024

I'm still going Facebook Lite, though it's been refined somewhat: I took it off my phone but I still have it on my computer. This means that when it's not a workday I'm on a lot more often, but I'm also still curating my feed. I follow a lot fewer public figures than before because I can't tolerate all the hate-follower types. I still get plenty of the jerks who think that Trek/comics/Who/insert-fandom is "suddenly woke" and who assume their opinion is law, but it's a lot easier to ignore those when you're no longer also dealing with the haters on every. single. post.

Regarding the UHC CEO who was killed. Mostly the theories I see are that a) it was a professional hit or b) the shooter lost someone important to them because of denial of benefits. I find it hard to care, in a schadenfreude sort of way. I know some people who are absolutely delighted, but I am not. EDIT, because I was not clear: This is in part because I feel bad for his family and I'm kind of appalled that it has come to this. The other part is because I simply don't have that much energy to spare, especially during Hibernation Season. The most interesting theory I have heard is that the shooter himself is terminal due to denied claims and therefore has nothing to lose. I prefer this sort of thing in episodes of Leverage, myself.

Yesterday was a lot of fun. Lizzy and I drove/ferried over to Whidbey Island to meet my dad and stepmom for brunch and a holiday concert. The brunch was excellent, and the concert was fun, especially during the singalong portions. The fact that I know the cello part and the alto voice part of the Hallelujah Chorus makes for a bit of confusion though. After the concert, as we were halfway up Whidbey Island anyway, the plan was to drive north and take the bridge across to see the holiday light display at the Tulalip Casino Resort. My GPS desperately wanted us not to do this (because of a four-minute slowdown on I-5 southbound) and kept routing us down to the ferry dock in the south end, but in the end, I prevailed.

A very small sample of
holiday lights at Tulalip

We found out toward the end of that drive that the slowdown was actually because of the holiday lights; a lot of them can be seen from the freeway. Silly GPS. We had fun; it was a very nice day/evening. I'm a little sore, in a second-day-of-ski-season way, but I walked more than three miles. The last time I did that was actually at the SakuraCon that triggered my torn meniscus, so I feel pretty good about my improvement there. I'm sure my physical therapist will be pleased!

I forgot how big Whidbey Island is!

Abby should be home for the holidays late this week, so that will be nice. We will have to wait until after her birthday though. 😞  But everything is ready!

The Aftermath of the 2024 US Election, and Some Personal Changes

A picture of the Morton Salt Girl, with the caption, "Sometimes I'm just a salty bitch."

I'm sure that most of my regular readers are unsurprised by this, but I am deeply, deeply disappointed in some of - many of - my countrypeople. I mean, some of it is not surprising; I don't expect compassion for others or equitable treatment for those unlike them from the kinds of people who decry other folks for... well, for existing. Those sorts of people don't get much understanding from me; at most, I feel sad for their children and pity (which for me is a close cousin of contempt) for them.

The people I'm disappointed in come in two flavors: the ones whom I have actually witnessed being reasonable human beings/good parents/basically kind people... but who still voted for TFG and some of whom are now gloating loudly and relentlessly. That's the first kind, and I honestly don't care if they voted that way because they're afraid of drag queens, think viruses and climate change are hoaxes, or somehow think that the price of gas and groceries is more important than other people. That many of them profess to belong to a faith system that puts Love Everybody above all else is just piss icing on their shit cake.

The other type of voters who have caused me great disappointment are those on the other side, the kind who are so busy chasing after The Perfect Candidate™ that they let that make their voting choices for them. Perfection is the enemy of progress. In this case, perfection is the enemy of not jumping off the slippery slope. I recognize what this kind of voter is trying to do, but it has demonstrably not worked for a couple of decades now, at least here in the US.

In any case, there's my piece, I've said it, and it took me this long - I'm writing this 10 days after Election Day - to get up the energy to do so. In the interest of not burning out entirely (I have children to raise, other children to transport, bills to pay, Lizzy's bead art to market, and gig work to find, never mind holidays to plan for and dopamine to store, given that it's Hibernation Season and there's All That Out There™ to plan ahead for), and have gone low-contact on Facebook. 

For me, this is a big deal; I've been on Facebook for over fifteen years, but I am struggling to cope because by the very nature of social media (especially the big ones), the constant blast of information is relentless. "Like drinking from a fire hose," as they say. So I'm checking in there a couple times a day (deleted it from my phone but I check on my computer), a bit more today as I'm using that time to curate my feed so it's not completely overwhelming, and mostly just lying low. I understand a lot of the very well-meaning Wear This to Show Support trends (which I find performative) and the We Must Mobilize Now trends (for which I am still saving up energy), but at the moment I am emotionally unable to engage in all that. 

I was never much for Twitter, and I canceled my account just as it was renamed to X, so that's not a problem for me. Since my kids are now in their late teens/early twenties, Babycenter is no longer a concern. Google Plus (and before it, Google Wave) is gone, so that's not an issue. Those were my big social media places (if you're not counting Compuserve and America Online), so... I'm mostly out.

My therapist will be proud, although she will be the first to tell me I don't need her approval.

I'm not deleting FB Messenger, though, so if you want to stay in touch, ping me there, and we can work something out.

The Anxiety is Real, Y'all

A Bitmoji cartoon of a woman hiding under bedcovers.
It is labeled CURRENT MOOD

I find The World Today™ to be trying at best.

In fact, I've been actively avoiding the news, regardless of platform, because it's so damn uncomfortable out there. Reading or watching or (god forbid) interacting with any serious social media right now is Not Fun™. I read synopses (rather than listen or watch speeches) by the most politically neutral services I can find, but there's still a lot of anxiety-producing rhetoric. Even some people I like and agree with have been muted for 30 days because I can't deal with the constant onslaught. There are many things that I feel I should be keeping careful track of, but I have to think about my own mental health as well, of course.

And my mental health is... hmm... I'm going with Eggshell Fine™, what with hibernation season (I'm a bear; all I want is salmon, berries, and sleep) and all that out there <waves vaguely at The World Today™> and all. Don't worry; that's why I have a therapist; she keeps me (or assists me in keeping myself) at eggshell fine or better.

When Abby visited home last week, she and I voted (Lizzy's not old enough yet, and we do mail-in ballots in my state). It was interesting because a) this is her first presidential election, and b) as a university student, she is a lot more aware of the issues than she used to be and can discuss them intelligently.

Now that that is out of the way, have a post about Mostly Not That™.

• Lizzy started at a new school today. She's been struggling for years, despite The Best IEP Team on the Planet™, because her learning style is not best served by standard public school methods (neither was mine, but this option wasn't available to me when I was a teen. Oh, it existed, but I don't think I would've qualified). This is the alternative high school in our district, and it's likely to be a much better fit. I have not heard anything about how that's going, but if it was uniformly awful, I'm sure I would've gotten a panicked text from her or an exasperated phone call from the school.
• UPDATE: Liz had a great day at school!

• Abby is performing in a student-directed play this coming weekend, and then I'm allowing Lizzy to spend the weekend with her sister (with the approval of Abby's dormmates, of course). And then on Sunday they get to take the train back here and decorate the house for Christmas before we take Abby back up on Monday (Monday being a holiday when none of us has school).

• After this weekend, the Chez GamersBabes focus will be on school for A & L, completing driving lessons for L, and finding supplementary work for me to do between my morning and afternoon routes/during holiday breaks. I've already got most of my holiday shopping out of the way, my bills are paid, and we've got this.

Onward!

Kids These Days*

*The title is to be read with an accompanying eyeroll and/or sarcastic sigh, at the reader's discretion

A bitmoji rendition of a fair-skinned, brunette-with-blue
ponytailed woman in back and blue-floral print,
looking at a smartphone askance.

I'm finding a number of random irritants here lately, in addition to the usual idiocracy and late-stage capitalism and f*ck the patriarchy suspects. One of these, as I have stated before, is that Grammarly needs to learn that my default writing style is casual and conversational, and now would be a good time to lay off the "want to sound more confident/professional?" suggestions, because the answer is no. No, I do not want to sound more confident, or more professional right now, and please take my word for it the first time I tell you in a given document, okay? Thanks.

There are others, of course.

Millennials are not children, for instance. Even allowing for the latest possible birth years across the variable definitions, these "kids" are now in their mid-to-late twenties. Allowing for the earliest commonly accepted birth years, they're in their early forties. Also, they never asked for the participation trophies; the elder generations thought it would be good for their self-esteem. Stop denigrating them as entitled special snowflakes when they just lived up to the expectations given to them.

The same goes for later generations as well. Is it a little sad that many GenZ folks only know enough cursive to sign their names or can't read an analog clock or need to take "adulting" classes? Sure. Lost skills are often sad, though there was certainly a resurgence in things like baking and crochet during the height of covid. But a) many of those things are not that important right now, and b) again, who neglected to teach them these skills? That's right, the same people who unkindly make fun of them for not knowing what to do with a rotary-dial phone. 

I don't know enough GenAlpha kiddos (and these ones are literally children as I write this in 2024) to have an opinion on their slang and skills and so forth, but I have had more than one tell me I'm the "cool bus driver" because I know about Bluey and superheroes and Minecraft.

But don't worry; it's not only unkindness to younger generations than mine that irritates me. I'm an equal-opportunity leftie cranky GenX lady over here.

I have no patience for the people who support those who not only don't care about them as individuals (that's most politicians, to be honest) but who actively and vocally hate them. How do LGBTQIA+ folks or Mexican-Americans or people whose actual religion says to love everyone support the likes of you-know-who? I do not grok.

Why do some people think that people playing dress-up to read to littles are more dangerous than people who take rapid-fire weapons into public schools? I mean, I can only assume that they are the same folks who think that death from measles is preferable to autism, even though vaccines do not cause autism. These are also the people who talk over disabled people and heaven forbid a neurodivergent or LGBTQIA+ person or wheelchair user speak for themselves. That is evidently too scary. And they think we're the soft and fearful snowflakes.

And I keep seeing horror stories about parents tearing up English homework because they're "teaching about pronouns." As though pronouns haven't existed as long as language has. I have finally learned not to be a grammar notsee in public, but my patience is tried by such statements as "u dont see pronouns in the bibble." 

I'm pretty sure "I am he" contains two pronouns.

In linking older articles, I see that I have definitely touched on these topics before. But they're still out there annoying me, so here we are.

Plague at Chez GamersBabes

A Bitmoji rendition of me, a chubby brunette-with-blue
 woman wearing black and florals, looking tired.
She has an empty battery icon above her head.

Don't worry. We're all sick with Covid-19, but this strain - while apparently extra-contagious - is only miserable rather than hospital-worthy, even for my AARPy, fat, asthmatic self.

But let me start at the beginning, and give you the timeline.

Day One (Tuesday):

Tuesday morning at 4-ish I got up to use the bathroom. When I went back to bed, I got a phone call. From my elder daughter, Abby. The call was coming from inside the house. She felt punk and had done so since about 11PM Monday when she took a covid test, which was negative.

So Lizzy went to school (she masks at school anyway) and Abby and I went to urgent care at 8am (masked). Yep, the clinic's test showed positive. Damn. We got home from the clinic at 10-ish, and by 11am I felt crappy and my temp was climbing (high of 102F) so I also took a home covid test. The results were negative, but I didn't trust it; it could've read negative if it's expired, if there wasn't enough viral load for it to detect yet, or if the test isn't able to detect whatever the current flavor of covid is. So we waited for Lizzy to get home from school to take Liz and me in.

Didn't last; Lizzy was not feeling great and has some medical anxiety on top of that, so she called and asked to come home. Apparently, a student feeling ill is not enough to send them home as the school nurse in charge on Tuesday told Lizzy that "covid is just like the flu or a cold now." Lizzy doesn't want to risk spreading the flu or cold either. When I went to get Lizzy in the nurse's office, the nurse informed me that it "isn't that serious," but asked me to get out of her office when I said I was sick too (Lizzy and I were both masked, KN95, as usual). Sorry, but Lizzy's mental and physical health is more important than you wanting her to go back to class because you think covid "isn't that serious."

{Aside: I'm not a fan of this school year's one-size-fits-all policies or the assertion that cell phones and social media are the One True Cause of Anxiety in Teens... but that's another post.}

So off Lizzy and I went, to the same urgent care clinic, same doctor, same receptionist, but a different nurse. My test came back positive. Lizzy's took a little longer (maybe because she seems to be a couple days behind us on the symptoms), but hers was too. Oh well, at least we don't have to isolate from each other, just from the rest of the world.

Day Two (Wednesday):

Everyone called out sick (Abby's not in school until later this month, but Lizzy and I called out to the appropriate places), so we mostly spent Wednesday making my killer soup and doing Not Much Else.

All: fluctuating temps from 98F to 101F

Me (55, asthmatic): cough, sneezing, headache, wheezing (controlled), low appetite, body aches and chills, irritability, and serious fatigue

Abby (21): headache, scratchy throat, stuffy nose, sniffles, low appetite

Lizzy (17): headache, sneezing, scratchy throat, irritability.

Treatments (doc said we don't need paxlovid because my asthma is well-controlled and we are otherwise low risk): Rest, fluids, Acetaminophen, Ibuprofen, my awesome soup, and more rest & fluids.

Day Three (Thursday):

All: fluctuating temps from 98F to 100.6F

Same as above, except that Abby and I feel slightly better (still very tired though), and Lizzy feels somewhat worse. Liz seems to be two days or so behind me, and I'm approximately twelve hours behind Abby. Because of my age and existing conditions (like asthma), the doctor expected me to take longer to fully recover than the kids. 

Given that he didn't know a lot about Lizzy's sensory hellscape where a stuffy nose or a sore throat makes her want to cut off her own head (he's urgent care, not her regular doctor), this was a fair statement on his part. She went to bed before four PM.

Treatments: Rest, fluids, Acetaminophen, Ibuprofen, my awesome soup, and more rest & fluids. And rest. And fluids.

Also judiciously applied blue hair dye for me (thanks, Liz) during that portion of the morning when we were all upright at the same time. See? [image of a tired-looking brunette woman with blue streaks in her hair]

Day Four (Friday):

Our knockoff 🌟 💵 💊🏀 drinks were yummy. Lizzy's fever is up; mine and Abby's are down.

Abby is feeling better. Mostly just sniffly.

Jenn feeling ick. Stuffy nose, ouchie sinuses, cough, a little wheezing, fatigue, temperature floating around 99F when not treated. I could live without the back of my throat itching. 

Lizzy is feeling bleargh. Sore throat, sniffling, sweating, headache. Slept for 15+ hours and temp still up hovering on either side of 100 when not treated.

~~~~~~~~~~

I've already had a few (online and random) people saying (smugly), "See?! You still got sick, even with your precious masks and bogus vaccines and all that stuff Big Scary wants you to believe in. Sheeple."

Yes, but we got what feels like the flu (miserable and annoying but not deadly), and I'm not afraid to grocery shop without an arsenal, scared of my kids reading and thinking, or frightened of people in costumes reading to children.

In Name Only

A photo of part of the French opening ceremonies for the 2024 Summer Olympic Games. It bears a resemblance to the painting The Last Supper, which apparently has never ever been done before (sarcasm) and is therefore heresy.
The performers say that it is meant to depict a feast of Dionysus (as an homage to a different painting), from Greek mythology, as the Games are of Greek origin. Dionysus (Greek God of Wine, Revelry, and Theater) forbid that they should be creative.

You know the sort of “Christians” who are mortally offended by another country’s opening ceremony for the Olympics, because everything in the whole world should cater to them? There is a lot of overlap with the kind of “Christians” who think banning books and actual people is more important than following the teachings of the One they say they follow.

I’m all for drag performances and while this is not my preferred type, I’m not going to completely lose my mind because other people (especially in other cultures) are doing something I find personally distasteful. Same with the Marie Antoinette sequence. Ick, but also, you do you, France.  It’s not my call. 

It’s not a personal insult, either. It’s not always about you, “Christians.”

Why is “Christian” in quotes here?

Because they’re not acting like actual Christians (no quotes), are supposed to, what with the judging not lest they be judged and all.

Yeah, those people are now known as “CINO” (Christian In Name Only) on my page at least.

Note: these are NOT the people who are actually trying to walk the walk. I know some of them too, and they’re lovely people. What with the judging not and all.

Observations

 Jenn's Observations for Facebook:

1) If it's a public post, especially by a politician, people will weigh in on completely unrelated topics, usually their own pet peeves.

2) If it's a public reel, and the OP is LGBTQIA+, Jewish, a POC, a parent, obese, or otherwise not a cishet, ostensibly Christian, physically fit white male, some people will say they're doing it wrong/abusing their child/should get a real job.

2a) Other people will call these folks out on it.

2b) The people saying the OP is doing it wrong will then accuse the folks calling them out of being woke, stupid, fat, ugly, mean, abusers, predators, groomers, communists, or man-hating, whether or not these things are demonstrably true.

2c) Someone will chime in with a comment about hard work or bootstraps.

 

3) If it's a post about Star Wars or Doctor Who (and I'm sure there are others that I don't follow), someone will accuse the OP or the page of "pandering to Disney," being too woke, being weak, crying too much, "ticking all the DEI boxes," or "turning everything into that musical song and dance crap that the fans don't want."

3a) They claim to speak for all fans, even when other fans disagree.

3b) Star Trek is the same, except that they blame "pandering to the woke left" instead of "pandering to Disney."

3c) Someone will claim "Go woke, go broke," while simultaneously complaining that the "woke left controls everything."

 

4) If it's a post or reel about a person (usually a child, teen, or young adult) with a difference or disability, able to at least partly support themselves, someone will inevitably remark that said person is "being manipulated for clicks" or taken advantage of by their parents or caregivers.

4a) Or that the person in question is incapable of doing anything for themselves. Which they can, with a few accommodations, which is the point of the post.

4b) Or that the disability or difference should not be mentioned because "labels are unnecessary."

4c) The people who do this generally appear to be the "poor things can't speak for themselves" types... who talk over them when they try to speak for themselves.

 

5) Everyone on the internet knows better than teachers, other school personnel, epidemiologists, foreign relations experts, professional nutritionists, and sports coaches.

Alone Time Thoughts

Look, a post from my desktop computer! 

A bitmoji cartoon of a chubby, gree-eyed
brunette woman wearing a rainbow tie-dye tee
under an open blue shirt

At my desk!

I can now sit here comfortably for about an hour and a half at a time without my leg swelling up like a balloon.

This is progress.

And it's useful, because I have that remote summer job I was looking for, researching for (and once I'm more familiar with the subject matter, revamping) a website to be better with SEO and so forth. Reading (or watching documentaries) about metaphysical toolsets of self-knowledge is something that can be done from my phone or my TV easily enough, but as stated in the link above, taking extensive notes and web design and those sorts of things are very difficult on the tiny screen on my phone, but can be done pretty easily on the Windows 10 machine, even at 90 minutes twice a day.

I have the basics, as I do yoga and meditation (and tai chi 22 years ago or so) already. At the moment, I'm still learning to speak the myriad metaphysical dialects of American English. I'm pretty good with this sort of thing - I write for fun, after all - but I still need to get up to speed before I will feel confident messing with the website and search terms and all that.

And Grammarly is still complaining that I don't sound professional or confident enough. It's my personal blog here, Grammarly; you should know by now that my personal writing... meanders. You should also know that I can switch that off when appropriate or when requested by an employer.

Anyway... I'm sitting here with a bum knee and a head cold (negative for covid, and so were both the kids when they had it last week), sucking down soup and juice, bumping up against that 90-minute comfort window, and ready to go back to my spot on the couch with my feet up now.

Until the kids (both of them!) get home from work.

It's been nice being at my desk, though. Normal. I like that.

Not a Bum Knee in Sight

Oh, my knee is still in recovery, but the point here is that this

Flying saucer with rainbow beams
from a free photo site

post is not about that even though I’m still writing on my phone. So enough about the knee(s).

What I’m talking about today is something that I have touched on before, but mostly it’s this: If you don’t like it anymore, stop watching/playing/reading/listening.That’s what adults do, instead of all this whining and trying to ruin it for the rest of us. It’s those sour grapes that make me want to slap y’all.

At this point, I’m tired enough about this whole process that I do not care if you’re an outright bigot (on race, gender, sexuality, whatever) or if you’re just not good with change. I’m not great with change in real life, but I don’t spend all my time screaming down the house (in other people’s houses) that things in fictional universes “just aren’t the same as they used to be” and clutching my pearls because “history isn’t like that” (of course it’s not; this is a fictionalization of history. That’s why they call it historical fiction) or because two characters kissed or one character cried or whatever.

Note: this is not anll about Doctor Who or Star Trek, although those franchises are two that I see subject to this often.

For me, it falls in the same category as what they call “hate following,“ which is when you follow someone (usually a vlogger or a politician) on a social media platform just so you can bring your favorite pet peeve up every time they post anything at all. This gets really really old. Sure, I’m complaining here, but this is my own platform; I’m not going to other people’s posts just to assert that my personal opinion is fact.

And if you don’t like it anymore for whatever reason (for instance, I don’t think that certain show runners were particularly good for a few of my favorite series) that’s fine. As I said above, you don’t have to watch/play/etc. Or if you do want to watch just to see whether it improves or through some sort of personal issue you have, fine. Why do you have to keep on and on and on and on about it on every single post you see on a given social media platform? 

Honestly, just shut up and let people enjoy things. It’s not that hard.

A Post From my Phone

Warning: medical/surgical procedures. Nothing graphic.

Okay, y’all, making a blog post from my phone is hard…

…but it’s a lot more comfortable than sitting at my computer. Or at the laptop I borrowed, mostly because elevation of the leg is key in recovery.

This is what everything looked like 60 hours after the surgery to reconnect my meniscus to its root. I have three little incisions where they put in the micro tools and the teeny tiny little arthroscopic camera.

It’s kinda cool, huh?

So now I am 13 days after the surgery and went in for my two week check to make sure everything was OK. And everything is OK. The orthopedic surgeon, whom I really like, basically said that I was doing everything right and to continue on as I am for the next four weeks.

Doing everything right is being relaxed, just a little bit, and that I no longer have to use the ACE Bandage unless I feel more supported with it on. I’m keeping the Band-Aids though because the pretty new patterns and themes that Band-Aid has for their flexible fabric bandages make me feel better. I guess it’s a looking-better-feeling-better thing, mind over matter. In any case, it works.

So I am on crutches and in this brace for another four weeks, But things are moving comfortably forward. Going to the doctor today was tiring (Even considering that my mother brought me breakfast) and my low back hurts from sitting in the same position for two weeks and using crutches and so on, but things are looking up.

Assistance

A bitmoji rendition of me, a chubby
brunette woman wearing blue and
waving, with the caption HELLO

You may know from my rambling previous posts, that I'm not a huge fan of asking for help, at least not financial or physical help (for myself); I think the last time was almost nine years ago when Laston had just been diagnosed with Stage Four colon cancer. I don't usually mind asking for advice and moral support, although I often do a lot of editing and internal debate to avoid the risk of offending people.

I like people and I want to please people. I'm trying to have better boundaries and not be a people-pleaser to my own detriment, but that takes time and practice.

And meanwhile, life keeps right on happening.

Right now, life has happened in assorted annoying ways, the most obvious of which is that I have a left knee riddled with arthritis and a right knee getting surgery on May 29th to repair (reattach) a torn meniscus. This means I can't drive, which means I can't work at my usual school-year job (which I love - and sorry if that Vocal link is down; looks like they're having technical difficulties). I have irons in the fire for my usual summertime job (remote technical writing and the like; I don't ramble nearly this much when it's writing for other people), but no dice yet.

Anyway, back to the surgery.

There are varying paths here, ranging from nope-can't-reattach-it (in which case they trim it and I would likely have to get one or both knees replaced sooner rather than later) to wow-that-fixed-everything (which is unlikely). Either way, I'm going to be pretty much stuck on my butt for at least six weeks even if I get a job I can do from here. I don't need advice on this part; I've got most major expenses covered, a safety net if I need it, and - as I said - irons in the fire.

What I don't have is a lot of disposable income at the moment. So this wish list (yeah, Amazon, because there is no ethical consumption under capitalism and Amazon has all the things in the same place) is things I don't need but that would make my recovery easier and more pleasant. And as these are wants rather than needs, I'm not picky about where they are purchased.

It wouldn't hurt if anyone would like to commission some of Lizzy's bead art, either. This allows her to buy her own supplies, which means I don't have to. None of them are very expensive, but all those beads and elastic cording add up.

Again, no needs here, just wants. Want to help a girl out?

***Recovery Items***

Random Stuff May Eighth 2024

Fire cuff close-up in yellow, orange, gold,
red, and dark red.

Mrs. Frazzled is not actually talking to grownups that way, you twonks. She's using that condescending language and voice as satire, showing sarcastically what she would like to say to adults who are entitled asshats.

Lizzy is still taking commissions for her beaded jewelry and Shaker Cubes. Click here for the full blog post with pictures, descriptions, and pricing! They're really fun pieces, from single-strand bracelets to earrings to big ol' cuffs (with or without additional decorations).

Speaking of fun pieces, why are people who say they don't pay attention to celebrities all up in arms about the Met Gala this week? The Met Gala is not primarily a fashion show or an award night, nor is it what (most) celebrities choose for fancy evenings out (although I'm sure there are some). It is a fundraiser for the museum and is meant to be completely impractical and over the top.

My washing machine won't lock and therefore won't run and I don't have the expertise to fix it nor the money to have it fixed by an expert. From the Whirlpool website, YouTube, and assorted other information sources (I can troubleshoot, but not fix it in this case), it looks like the latch sensor is busted (shut up, Grammarly; I don't care that "busted" doesn't sound professional!). This is not a calamity but it's a pain in the ass.

On that note, my therapist told me to stop apologizing for what I can't do and simply thank people for doing things. I'm very bad at this, but I'm trying hard.

Waiting for my doctor's office to call me back about pre-operative labs. A little nervous about the upcoming knee surgery, but pleased that despite my bulk, I'm fairly healthy overall. I don't have very many of the legion of medical issues listed on the preoperative questionnaire they had me fill out, for instance. This is probably - at least in part - because I don't (never have) smoke or play with recreational drugs, and I drink alcohol a few times a year. I've lost 13.2 pounds since April 3rd, but that's not enough to make an appreciable difference in that particular risk metric. Go me.

I'm constantly annoyed right now with people who think their opinion is fact and those who feel the need to yuck other people's yum. Naturally, this is mostly on social media, which is like that anyway, but that's what I've got at the moment if I want to connect to the outside world. And I'm probably cranky because I'm sore from the hips down. But the bizarreness of the Met Gala or people showing their baby's first word, or clips from new seasons of a show or strange party tricks or whatever? Why do folks feel the need to denigrate people online about these things? Just for funsies? 

If it really is just for funsies or because saying things like, "Her dress was garbage woke BS and this show is gonna faaaaaiiiiilllll," makes people feel better about themselves? That's just sad.

In my opinion, of course.

Kandi Kreations

 NOTE: Picture-heavy post - may be best viewed on a computer or tablet rather than a mobile phone.

I promised my friends that I would write a post featuring Lizzy's Kandi art. For those not in the know, Kandi is jewelry (usually bracelets) or other creations made from pony beads (plastic beads in different colors and/or alphanumeric symbols). It started in rave culture, where people would trade single-strand bracelets ("singles") with others, and has spread to everything from small jewelry pieces to full-on clothing and other accessories.

Lizzy would be thrilled to take commissions (prices below) to further fuel her beading habit, and examples are shown.

So without further ado, have some great examples of pony bead art (descriptions attached)

A set of six singles in a dark chess theme.
Red, Purple, Blue, Green, Gold, Brown
King, Queen, Bishop, Knight, Rook, Pawn

A set of six singles in a light chess theme
Pink, Lilac, Cyan, Mint, Yellow, Orange
King, Queen, Bishop, Knight, Rook, Pawn

Four star-shaped earrings, two in a pink-
purple-yellow design, and two in a
sunflower-with-leaves design

A set of three singles in a Barbie theme,
accented with each wearer's favorite color

A much simpler cuff for the Ponies' friend
Spike the Baby Dragon, in purple and green,
with his name spelled in black letters on white.

A pyramid of each of the Mane Six My Little Pony
friends (Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Twilight Sparkle,
Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy) on
rotating cuffs in their signature colors.

Cuff Trio: rainbow (six colors in pastels), fire (yellow shading
through orange to red), and purple-green Spike again.

Fire cuff close-up in yellow, orange, gold,
red, and dark red.

Rainbow cuff close-up in pink, orange,
yellow, green, blue, and purple.

A set of three Shaker Cubes, in black/purple, pink/white,
and blue/black. These contain extra beads, which create a
rattling sound. Great for fidgets! (NOT for babies)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Price List (written by Lizzy herself):

• A pair of star/flower earrings: $10 (be warned; these are heavy.)
• A shaker cube: $15
• A simple cuff: $20
• A rotating cuff: $60 (these take ages so they're very expensive!)

Pricing for singles is a little complicated so please bear with me!

It starts at five dollars, and every additional is three more! So:

• 1 - $5
• 2 - $8
• 3 - $11
• 4 - $14
• 5 - $17
• 6 - $20
• 7 - $23
• 8 - $26
• 9 - $29
• 10 - $32
• 11 - $35
• 12 - $38

And so on!

Shipping costs will be added to the total! Details below.

All orders are custom! I have a wide assortment of colors so don't be afraid to be creative!

I've used too many exclamation points. I'm excited!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you want to commission a piece, please contact me (Jenn) and I will get the info to Lizzy.

Shipping runs eight dollars for a single shaker cube or up to three singles (in the contiguous 48 states of the US plus Washington DC).

Prices for international shipping and larger pieces vary.

Thanks, I Hate It

Though it wasn't nearly as bad as the last time. 

An image of a U-shaped red and
white magnet with gold lightning shapes
to indicate electricity.

But then an MRI for one's knee is an almost certainly less stressful experience than the one they tried to do on my head a few years back. That one was a very scary experience because it was at the end of a (later diagnosed) massive panic attack and I wasn't having a stroke at all. And, you know, going headfirst into a very loud and very cramped machine (at my size) when I was already so panicky that there were half-moon grooves in my palms where my fingernails hit my palms in my clenched fists.

This one was not pleasant, of course, but it wasn't horrible either.

For one thing, it was planned ahead of time. My momma brought me in and took me out to lunch after.

For another, I was only in the MRI machine up to about my waist. And I've lost just over eight pounds in the last couple of weeks, which is probably not enough at my size to have an actual, physical effect; it's enough for a psychological effect, though.

There was a video screen on the ceiling with a soothing sea scene of colorful fish and shells and stones and coral and so forth.

I had expanding earplugs.

Over the earplugs I had headphones, and the technician asked me ahead of time what kind of music I wanted. I was a little surprised that it was something I had a choice about, and said so. She said, "Oh, it's just Pandora," so naturally (being the 55-year-old woman that I am), I said that I would like 80s pop, please. I got Hungry Like the Wolf, Whip It, Footloose, and Eye of the Tiger, and so I was content.

I could feel my pulse in the right knee that they were scanning(?) Oh... Imaging, I guess.

I did my deep breathing a la Emergency Calm, which worked pretty well, though I have never tried to do my Calm breathing at the same time as 80s pop music before.

Afterward, I had a bit of a headache and felt slightly shaky/lightheaded. This only lasted a few minutes, and the tech assured me that these are really common reactions to being the focus of a giant magnet.

I just looked in MyChart and the results are not up yet.

So I guess we shall see.

Are You F*cking Kidding Me Right Now?

EDIT: Of course, after all that BS, it's sloooowwwwly doing its job now. For the moment anyway. Definitely on the First Thing To Repair list though.

If it's not one thing it's another.

So... as any of you following the sitcom that is my life know, I hurt my knee (more details here), and here is the Inigo Montoya summation: My left knee has hella-arthritis, my right knee probably has a torn meniscus root, but I can't get in for an MRI for another nine days. I can't drive (which means I can't work my day job) but I can do my side gigs of remote technical writing (if I can find any).

So... (she says again) I'm minding my own, feeling proud of myself for staying within budget for the Fun Things We Had Already Had Planned, feeling even more proud of myself for taking hold of my life and working to lose some of the weight that is affecting these knees in their first place. I got a really nice note from my dad (who has just introduced my stepmother(!) to my blog) for my writing style, humor, etc., and I was feeling good about myself, bad knees and unfit body and all.

And the water heater goes out.

This has happened before, including when were still moving in, over ten years ago (that time they just replaced it since it started out that way. Also, why in the hell do these things happen when I am injured and unable to drive?). It has happened several times since then - one time the plumbers even came out and took a look - but it has always been fixable by merely resetting the breaker. It happened Friday (and I had a tantrum because I had really sore knees and couldn't take a shower), but we reset it and it worked fine through Saturday. Happened again Sunday evening and Lizzy noted that it seemed to be more frequent. 

And now today. Monday. Today it won't even reset at all. My dishwasher is running a cold load of dishes, evidently, because my dishwasher doesn't heat the water on its own. Grand.

So I went online, and Google told me that replacing a water heater costs about a thousand dollars, maybe $1200. It's a small house (mobile home), with a small water heater (30 gallons, I think), so I can probably scrape that up (while I stayed well within my budget for Fun Things, etc., that does not mean that my savings accounts are reasonable yet... since the last plumbing disaster). I googled how to get a water heater replaced and Home Depot said they would have a trusted, bonded, insured, sensitive clever, well-mannered, considerate, partner call me. Awesome; maybe we can work something out.

No. Not really. For $2369, we are unlikely to be able to work something out.

Why so expensive? Apparently, 30-gallon ones don't exist anymore. Well, nothing much bigger is going to fit in this tiny closet on my back porch.

Now what the hell do I do?

In the past when there has been some sort of water problem, we've gone to my mom's house a block or so away and used her stuff (thanks, mom) but I can't do that right now - I can't drive and it's not a straight, grid-layout block with a sidewalk; it would take me ages to crutch my way up there. 

At least we can flush a toilet this time and the issue is hot water. We can heat it on the stove if we have to, and Lizzy already has done, cleaning out the crisper drawers in the fridge. But I also can't freaking carry it anywhere, not while using crutches.

So I write it all down, as one does (if one is me) in my patented sarcastic way, and that helps with the emotional, aaaarrrrgggghhh part of today's programming. I'm sure I'll come up with something.

Wish me luck.

Help, Please

Please read the whole thing before jumping in.

A bitmoji cartoon of a
wavy-haired brunette
person with an apple.

I've been dithering about how to phrase this for about 24 hours, so I'm just going to say it: I need to lose weight.

I'm going to get eye-rolls and oversimplistic "solutions" from folks who don't share my physical, mental, emotional, medical, hormonal, dietary, neurodivergent, financial, etc. limitations. No Nike "just do it" please, and no remarks about willpower. If it was simply willpower, I'd have done it already.

I'm possibly going to get annoyance and disappointment from those of my friends who (quite rightly) feel that we should love our bodies how they are and not be concerned about whether we meet societal expectations, etc. And honestly, I'm not all that fussed about how I look according to society; I'm fat and as far as society goes, I'm just fine with that.

But I have also messed up both of my knees now. Those knees, my sleep apnea, my blood pressure, and my asthma are exacerbated by extra weight, and I'm the only parent Lizzy has left.

I'm lactose intolerant, mildly allergic to whey protein, have IBS triggered by these and some vegetables, a certain amount of food trauma from adolescence, and my food sensitivities are worse in springtime because of other allergies. Perimenopause is a complicating factor as well, because why not? I do not have a specific eating disorder but I have disordered eating habits. I know what to do - as in I know what's good for me personally - but I struggle with portion size, timing, and emotional eating.

There has been a lot to emotionally-eat about for several years now.

I (usually) get a reasonable amount of exercise (60-90 minutes a day), although not a lot of it at the moment because of that Other Knee injury. My Apple Watch and its fitness app have me striving to complete those rings and I am here for it. Gamifying usually works well for me. Weight Watchers or SparkPeople notsomuch, though I haven't tried them recently. I am not interested in weight-loss surgeries or medication options. I already meditate at least once a day. And I'm not going to respond well to let-go-and-let-God suggestions.

What I am looking for here is recommendations for apps, groups, plans, programs, etc. I have already tagged my therapist in on this topic, and I'm about to tag my PCP ditto.

Happy to take hugs and care reacts. Not okay with tots and pears or snarky remarks. Just serious recommendations, please.

Dude, Seriously?

So... blew out the other knee.

An annoyed-looking Bitmoji cartoon of a
curly-haired brunette with the caption
"SRSLY?!" in a speech bubble.

This is the one I use for work, so... bad words have been uttered, loudly and indiscriminately. Especially when I stubbed my toe on the opposite foot. On the crutch, lol, just to make things even more ironic.

Dear Universe, please stop using me for your April Fools jokes.

Anyway, at this moment about 14 hours after I hit the ER this morning, I have random tidbits of information, some interesting, some useful, some just funny (as my sense of humor is reasserting itself).

I can't work until at least next Monday, after I see the orthopedist on Friday. The Monday in question - April 8th - is the first day of spring break for me, my younger child, and my students. This gives me extra time to recover. Lizzy's trip to the aquarium on the 6th (and then a sleepover) with her besties will either have to be with a different driver for the outing part of the festivities or be pushed to summer break. I won't be able to drive yet, and I certainly won't be able to walk around the aquarium; look what traipsing all over SakuraCon did for to me!

But just in case this ends up being longer term than a couple of weeks, I plan to contact the company through which I get tech writing gigs and tell them my availability is for more hours than usual... at least after I talk to the ortho. I suck at being idle for longer than a day or so... so I did a lot of phone calling and online stuff.

Lizzy is an excellent nurse. She even has that gently-bullying-the-patient-into-taking-their-meds skill down. I knew this because I'm asthmatic, but it was nice to see anyway.

There are a whole lot of other things I can do - some of which I have already done. 

I linked my MyCharts between the hospital and my regular doctor. Now I can see X-rays and follow-ups in the same login! No bone damage on the X-rays as far as they can see; it looks like SSDL (same shit different leg).

I called and canceled my physical therapy for this week, and alerted them that next week might be rather more involved.

I discovered that some of the medical jargon around messed-up joints is downright hilarious, at least in the moment. Who knew that a knee could be "internally deranged?" It makes it sound like my knee is having some sort of psychotic breakdown.

I stayed hydrated and did not overeat today, as hydration is important for healing, and obesity (which is already considerable in my case) just makes recovery take longer and hurt more. To that end, I ordered healthy and portable snacks (that can fit in a pocket, of which I attained lots at the Other Knee party last year).

I set my Apple Fitness goals wayyy down today. I'll set them a little higher tomorrow. I can still use my little hand weights after all.

Abby and I plan to do laundry tomorrow. I can fold as long as she brings me things and puts them away.

So, as usual, I've got this. I'm pissed that I'm in a position to be required to "got this" but here we are.

Things That Bug Me Today

Things that bug me on any given day are legion. Some of them are major issues, but some are very minor, even by my own definition. So I decided to share a random sampling of such things.

Bitmoji Cartoon of a woman with
dark hair in a topknot,
rolling her eyes.

1. This is a big one, although it seems fairly petty until you look deeply, and I think I've mentioned it before. People who feel the need (especially on social media) to insert their own opinion (especially when they express it as though it were fact) into every. single. thing they see. Examples:
1. My state governor expressing sadness at the death of a Supreme Court Justice and half a dozen people jumping on him about his covid masking policies.
2. Random American Jewish-Orthodox women showing interesting ways to cover their hair or eat Kosher, and getting horrible replies holding their simply being Jewish as equivalent to the behavior of the Israeli government.
3. Similarly, the assertion that anybody non-Christian is evil, oppressed, or both.
2. I have also mentioned this one before: just because something squicks you does not mean it's a crime against God or nature or anything else.
3. The left lane on the freeway may be For Crime (the crime of speeding according to many people I love and respect) but the GoodToGo lanes are not. I'm going 60mph (the speed limit) in a government vehicle (school district sedan) and folks get mad at me for going too slow. The students in my car don't need to see your rude gestures or hear your horn as you pass me like I'm not moving.
4. Written about this one as well: just because you play a company's game or watch a person's video does not mean that you have the right to dictate content. If you don't like the content, get out.
1. On this note, American First Amendment rights do not apply to random YouTubers; your freedom of speech means that the U.S. Government can't tell you what to say (aside from bombs in airports or fire in a crowded theater, etc). It does not give you the right to be a complete asshat to content creators on social media without consequences. Today I saw someone shouting But Muh Rights because they weren't allowed to be a transphobic jerk on a Facebook page run by a Canadian.
2. The need to be right about everything is not something I understand, hence my recent posts about staying the hell off controversial topics on Facebook.
5. Cognitive Dissonance hurts my brain.
6. Not everything is about your pet cause. Or mine. Or anyone else's.
7. I'm going nondairy (usually I allow myself a single serving a day, generally a serving of yogurt for breakfast) for the duration of Tree Sex Season.
8. I wonder if the “Royal Experts” are self-styled folks who talk a good game or if they actually work/live/hang with royals. Either way, they irritate me, because I just wanna look at the pretty dresses and fancy outfits. So strange to have someone whose actual job it is to give opinions on what’s going on in famous people’s lives. I mean, there's a category called "Royal Expert." Can anyone be one? Is there a union? The royal equivalent of press credentials?
9. Having written this out, I feel less annoyed. This is par for the course. And my intent.

Random Post Number XXXXXXX

A Bitmoji rendition of me, a chubby
brunette woman with her hair in a messy
topknot, wearing blue and rainbow tye-dye,
shrugging and looking confused.

Honestly, I have no idea what ADHD garden path we're going to walk down in this post. I guess we'll see when we get there.

Work breaks are weird because they disrupt my comfy neurodivergent routines. I spent Tuesday feeling anxious because I hadn't made a to-do list for the week, Wednesday rather less so because the list was made, and Thursday/Friday contented except that my neighbors (not my immediate neighbors in the actual neighborhood, just people in my area) are being absolute NIMBYs.

Heh - my ND is full of NT NIMBYs.

Many of them are also awfully I've-got-mine-so-screw-you types or the open-schools-now types. I have mentioned those before.

I'm kind of dreading Monday morning because it's supposed to snow and that may well start another round of "my house across the street from the school is clear so why can't we open?" bullshit. Probably with extra who-will-plow-my-street from one batch of people, and everything-I-don't-like-is-socialist from the other side.

A picture of a snowplow with the 
legend "A socialist snowplow just
went past my house.
Will this tyranny never end?"

Arg.

Deep breaths, Jenn.

Evidently I'm still a trifle grumpy.

Hibernation season, or perimenopause. Or both.

Oh! My mom had a milestone birthday last weekend and it was kind of epic. Such a fun weekend and a great party. Even the kids enjoyed themselves. We had some deep talk and some really lighthearted stuff and great food and awesome gifts and funny party favors for the elders, provided by the birthday girl.

And Lizzy finally got to give Grandpa and step-Grandma the Christmas present she got for them the week after we celebrated the holidays with them. That was nice.

Abby was accepted to her university of choice! There wasn't any real doubt, but it was still great to find out for sure. Funny that she got the acceptance email while she and I were having our taxes done.

That's a Good Thing. Tax refunds are in the offing. Yes, I know I don't have to give money to the federal government to hold for me until March each year. No, I don't want to change it. This is one of those iPhone vs Android issues and I'm not discussing that today. Don't bother.

It's been a year since The Knee Injury. I can walk without trouble now, but if I've just come from a physical therapy session or I know I'll be walking for a long time, especially on uneven ground, I still bring the cane with me. It's more moral support than physical at this point.

I did cut back on my iWatch goals several weeks ago, because I had bronchitis. I'm fine now (and the goals are back up), but still have a little bit of residual cough-wheeze and my stamina is down.

I should buy more masks. This is also not up for debate. Me wearing a mask does not hurt you in any way so just don't.

Wow, this post is extra ranty. I didn't know I was in such a pissy mood. Usually writing this down helps, as it did on Tuesday with the lack of a list, but evidently not today.

I'm going back to laundry/reading/videogames until I can safely interact with other humans.

Profound and Yet so Simple

Despite how important books are in my life, I don't usually write actual book reviews.

But that was before I read Lessons in Chemistry. Note: the Amazon description does not do it justice.

It had been in my library queue for ages - in audiobook form because I spend a lot of time in the car alone after I drop my students wherever they are going - so when it popped up as available, I grabbed it.

I listened to the first two chapters and then texted my mom that it was hilarious and thanks for the recommendation. "Well," she said, "It is hilarious, in the same way that the Barbie movie was hilarious."

And she was right. It is. In a laugh-because-we-dare-not-cry sort of way, about the awfulness that is the world we live in.

I know not everyone - even other women - feels this way about Barbie, but I sure did. 

Anyway, I finished Lessons in Chemistry on Thursday, it is now Saturday, and I've been processing it in the back of my mind for two days now. This may not have been enough; I'm still unable to articulate everything I loved, hated, identified, related, etc., about it.

I know there's a series or a movie, but I don't currently have AppleTV and I've only seen clips. I'm not sure whether a film or series could do it justice any more than the Amazon description did, but I'll find out eventually.

There were laugh-out-loud spots, especially of the rueful-because-of-patriarchy sort, and one line something like, "Harriet exhaled loudly in a mixture of wonder and irritation," that more or less summed up every conversation I've had with my own younger (and AuDHD) kid since she learned to talk (about 15 years ago). 

My mom said she felt the same way, except that when Lizzy got here, she already had decades of experience in this, because of me.

We are a neurodivergent bunch over here, after all.

See? How many tangents are in my last few lines? That would be the ADHD.

And also, evidently, delayed processing, because I am still trying to figure out how to say the important things I felt/observed/identified-with while reading this book.

However, one of the things - that may seem unrelated to those who haven't followed me down my ADHD garden path here - that it made me realize/remember is that my own mental health is strongly affected by little things. In this case, the little thing that popped up was the page design of my blog, which has been indicative of Dreary Seattle Winter for a few years now. It has always been my go-to background (because I live in Dreary Seattle Winter and because my favorite color is blue), though I have switched it up a bit now and then.

This time I switched it up a lot. Brighter colors, easier-to-read text, etc.

It's like the blog equivalent of getting a new hair color or buying new clothes. 

Maybe that'll hold me through the rest of Hibernation Season.

Most of the characters in the book - as well as likely being all over the color wheel that is the autism spectrum - do not enjoy particularly good mental health. Some of this is the setting - extra-super-duper-awful-patriarchy-of-1954-through-1962 - and some is intrinsic to each person. But given the stated reason for living in a given area in the book, seasonal depression is also a factor. Hence the personal blog color change.

I could move these paragraphs around to make them more linear instead of the winding garden path.

But in an effort to be true to how Lessons in Chemistry made me feel, I think I'll leave it this way: scattered, meandering, but still finding profound meaning in simple things.

Random Thoughts on a Random Day Off [now with updates!]

My neighborhood is not the one that caused the entire school district to close. Our roads are bare and wet here. But it's not the same in the entire district and I'm kind of thrilled to get the day off.

I'm also annoyed that I couldn't get back to sleep after they called it.

Yeah, yeah, Seattle wimp-drivers. I know. Been there, done that, wrote the Vocal article.

Because while I am well enough to go back to work (I am recovering from bronchitis), yesterday was just about enough for me. 

Lizzy (because big forks are the only ones clean) is just about as annoyed as I am about the inability to go back to sleep.

Our water pressure is low today. Just us, as far as I can tell, but it's not a trickle like it would be if our pipes froze and burst. Lizzy posits that maybe they're partway frozen, leaving a narrower channel.

Lizzy was incorrect because as I typed this, a neighbor came to tell me that she could hear lots of water moving around under my house. I went to find the shutoff and slipped on the wet (icy?) stairs and down I went. Did not reinjure my knee (yay!), but I have some very interesting scrapes and bruises on my arms from catching myself.

And, you know, no water.

This is not the way to make me less irritable, universe.

Well, this blog post has taken quite a turn...

I'm waiting on a call back from the plumber. I don't know why we had no trouble with the water during the actual cold snap; we did the usual bits of responsible homeownership like wrapping outdoor faucets, leaving things on at a trickle at night, etc., and the water was fine.

Until today, so who knows?

Was this really necessary?

[UPDATE] Well.

We have water, yay! 

It took most of the day, numerous phone calls,  two plumbers (man, are they busy this week, because I assure you we are not alone in our doing-things-right-but-still-freezing-pipes), quite a lot of money, two showers and a few bathroom breaks at grandma's house down the road, most of my patience, and a short bout of situational anxiety. 

School is closed again today due to icy road conditions, both for us and for most of the surrounding school districts. I have to go out at some point today for a prescription but that can happen after noon when some ice has melted. The knee is fine, but the arm-bruises are stiff and sore.

On the other hand, Lizzy received a replacement not-LEGO piece that she was missing from one of her Christmas gifts, so she's pretty happy just chilling at her LEGO table.

So now we're okay again.