Shut Up, BrainWeasels!

Depression

Anxiety

BrainWeasels are what I call it when I have evidence that I'm depressed and/or anxious just because my brain does that, rather than it being due to grief, given situations, specific stresses, etc. 

I mean, Abby is working, Lizzy is being helpful without being asked, we're all healthy... and I'm feeling that depressive cloud hovering over me like it wants to let go of a deluge at any moment. Or maybe it's the anxiety thunderhead. I'm not sure. 

When by all reasonable measures (for me - your definition of 'reasonable' may vary) I should be in a great mood today. 

Whatever it is, it has me feeling pretty fragile for the second day in the last three or four.

Depression cloud, anxiety thunderhead, something else... I don't know. But it's there, and it has invited the BrainWeasels out to play today.

Good thing I have therapy tomorrow.

Maybe there is a reason. Maybe it's friends who have lost homes in fires in California, or August being what it is for me, or the fact that the SSA hasn't paid me survivor's benefits early, although they usually do. Maybe it's nervousness about the school year coming up, or Chadwick Boseman's death, or the fact that I am really low in my workplace's hierarchy.

Or maybe it's G: All of the Above.

And the 2020 of it all, as well.

Hypervigilance is bad, mmkay?

Excuse me while I send this post to my therapist so she knows what she's getting into.

I do feel a bit better, having written it out. Which is why I do this, after all.