Baby Steps and Paternalism

I have an analogy in my head using baby steps was regarding US politics, and it goes like this:

As a country, we're like babies taking baby steps toward equity and have been forever. Equity for Black people, Native American people, other people of color, women, LGBTQ+, the neurodiverse, folks with disabilities, people for whom two or more of these converge, etc. Sloooooow baby steps, falling down often as babies are wont to do. But we're getting there. Far too slowly for most of our taste.

Then this bully moves into the neighborhood. We've heard of him; he used to live across town but he was notorious for many reasons, very few of them good. We thought this other kid might move in - her family has been here before - but some rumors started flying around about Bad Things and a lot of the neighbors believed them, plus Bully Boy's friends worked really hard to mess with everyone involved. Bully Boy moves in, brings some of his friends (or whatever you call people who hang around bullies) along with him, and he starts pushing the babies down. Then his hangers-on do. Then they get the other neighborhood kids into it, anyone who can't see that all the bullies are doing is pushing other children down, or who have been taught to dislike or distrust other children. 

Some of them honestly think this is for the babies' own good for whatever reason. Some are trying to hang on to their own neighborhood status. A few really loud ones believe that the whole reason Bully Boy moved in was a sign that better things are to come for everyone, so they'd better push down the little kids as much as they can, and faster, to show their enthusiasm for the cause. 

And now here we are. We have a chance to move Bully Boy Number One (or 45) out of our neighborhood, and to take his bully posse with him. But we don't really like the kids who can do this for us. One is almost to the age where he doesn't understand kids anymore, and his partner has a history of trying to protect the babies "for their own good" that has sometimes been detrimental to them. And neither of them will even listen to Old Man Sanders, who has seen all this from his front porch for decades, but who has a reputation for being too old and cranky and hard to work with for the other neighbors to take him seriously. There are some awesome people living down the block, but they're too young for the neighborhood to take them seriously yet. Not until they're 35, anyway.

So here's my thought: We grit our teeth - yes, even those who have been sitting at the feet of Old Man Sanders as long as he's been in the neighborhood - and we allow the paternalistic, barely-center kids to move into his old house. And then we enlist the awesome people down the block to keep a sharp eye on them and keep them honest.

Paternalistic of me? Probably. I grew up in this society too, after all. But I just now realized how paternalistic and condescending the term 'baby steps' can be when referring to situations outside of oneself. Using it to refer to my own self - or I suppose an actual baby taking their first steps - is fine. It's encouraging development and that's okay. Using it to refer to groups outside myself (even though I'm a member of at least two of those groups) is most likely problematic on my part, as a white person with a fair amount of privilege.

But if I can get even one person with even more privilege than I have to listen... then I guess I'm using my own privilege for good. 🤷