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Sunday, May 22, 2016

All About Me

This is Not a Cancer Post™.

It is, in fact, all about me™.

I'm depressed.

To anyone who knows me, this is not surprising. I'm a fretter under the best of circumstances (which these clearly are not), and I'm prone to seasonal depression if I don't use the sun lamp and take enough Vitamin D (although this is not the season in question).

And Google knows I have cause for situational depression at the moment.

Which is why this post is all about me™. Laston is the one who is sick, it's true. But I'm holding down a full time job, caring for a family, and caring for a sick spouse (none of these are physically taxing, but I don't have a lot of emotional energy to spare). And I'm just tired. I'm also trying to lose weight, fretting about money, and just generally having a rough time.

These things make me a little emotional.

This was brought home to me today, here at work, when my very first customer of the day burst into tears after I helped him fix his phone so he could call out. I found it upsetting, and usually I'm not quite as, well, hair-triggered on being affected by such things as I have been lately.

I'm sure it's understandable given the circumstances. Laston is ill, three kids in school, a horrific attack on a teacher where our 15yo goes to school, end-of-year shenanigans, joblessness (on Laston's part) and the list goes on.

Nobody blames me for my blue mood, not even me.

But I don't really like it about myself much.

I'm a cheerful person in general, grumpyjenn email notwithstanding (at the time I first got it, I was umpteen months pregnant with Abby, now 13). So I'm not a real fan of being an easily-upset grumpapotamus.

 Bleah.

But I guess that's what breaks between calls are for; they're here to give me a chance to vent all over my blog page. And that makes me feel better in general.