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Saturday, June 27, 2015

A Collection of Symptoms

WARNING: This post contains not-too-graphic references to Girl Stuff. If that's TMI, then don't read it. I'm not completely over the Crankypants discussed below.

The problem with syndromes is that they tend to be just that - a collection of seemingly unrelated symptoms.

Until several pile on at once, and then you shout at your husband for perfectly normal things.

I am, in general, a fairly equable person. I have a quick temper, but I snap once and then it's over. I'm a shouter as a parent, but that has more to do with laziness on my part - who wants to get up to go to the next room? - than any actual shoutiness.

So today, with Laston looking a bit wounded that I bit his head off and then stomped off to take a shower, I did some regrouping in there.

Symptoms: irritability (obviously), headache, fatigue. Slight dizziness. All of these can be explained by the fact that I am, well, still a functional girl. It all still works; it just can't make babies anymore, as I painstakingly explained to Lizzy a few months ago. As I'm 46, this is a Good Thing.

Okay, so PMS. Check.

But even with PMS, I'm not usually that much of a bitch.

It's been a weird week. Although things were super cool and all, what with joining the ranks of the Formally Educated, it was very, very stressful.

Okay, so PMS and stress. Check.

Still not enough, generally speaking, I'm certainly under less stress than I was when I was actually in school, and I finished that last December. Money's always an issue, even with graduation gifts from assorted people, but certainly no more so than usual. The day-to-day is no different; I feel that I do too much around the house and the rest of my family does too little (or rather does too little unasked), and that they don't listen, but that's par for the course.

I've had some really nice comments on my work and my writing and the kids are basically healthy and happy.

So what gives?

I found out when I put on my sandals to take out the trash.

Holy Google, it's 89F out there. In June. In Seattle. And the heat index is about the same. And it's only going to be worse next week.

I got back in, used my asthma inhaler, and took off my sandals. I already have marks in my feet and they've been on for a grand total of nine minutes. And my ring is too tight, rather suddenly.

A clue, a clue!

Not heatstroke, per WebMD; I don't have a fever or any of the vomiting, etc that are common symptoms (thank Google). Heat exhaustion, heat exhaustion... ah, there it is. Risk factors: obesity (check), pulmonary disorders (check), high blood pressure (check), pregnancy or other hormonal factors (like PMS. Check.). High blood pressure and thyroid medications (check).

Well then, elevate the tootsies, strip to the bare minimum for decency, and drink lots of water.

And I already feel better.

I KNEW I bought all those clear fluids for a reason. And I should not have had coffee this morning.

Sorry, honey.