Land in Sight!

We're still swimming, and now we seem to be actually getting somewhere.

You see, today would have been Laston's birthday, had he lived past 51. And I'm a little sad, of course. But I'm maintaining, and I'm functional, and that's certainly better than this time last year.

Part of this is due to the Calm app on my phone; meditation is a great way to keep on an even keel (just to extend the oceanic metaphor). Their Sleep Stories are fabulous too. And sleep is its own healing. I've been getting enough of it lately, and that's a big deal in and of itself.

And my sister-in-law, Tori (who happens to share Laston's birthday, so happy birthday, Tori!), used a phrase the other day that really seems to be helping me. "Relentless Positivity!" Anyone who knows - anyone who has ever even met - Tori knows that she lives and breathes this phrase. And it struck me as a very Hufflepuff (loyal and kind) version of Mad-Eye Moody's "Constant Vigilance!" There is truth in faking it until you make it, and I can fake Relentless Positivity™ with the best of 'em.

Still no job, though a good prospect or two, in part because I realized that it's not call center work itself that is the problem for me. It was call center work in that time and place, with those wonky retail-esque hours. Once I opened up my mind (with Relentless Positivity™) to call center work in a smaller company, with a more important (to my mind) mission, and reasonable hours for a widowed mom... well, I started getting a lot more hits on my resume, people actually calling me back and stuff.

This certainly helps me be relentlessly positive!

I can see the beach from here, and the view is glorious.