Hypocrisy

We all do it, on some level. As an example, I sometimes pull the do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do with my kids, especially as regards food choices.

Nobody does it with quite the same verve as the US Republican Party, circa 2018.

I mean, do they not see it, or not care, or honestly believe they're doing the right thing with their white nationalist, gun-loving, pro-life-until-it's-born, racist, sexist, homophobic (but not so much phobic as just hating), hateful and hate-filled selves?

There are probably some of each of those, honestly. The ones I totally can't fathom are the women (their own party hates them) and people of color (ditto) in this camp. And people who say they are pro-life but deny children sex education - which actually makes for fewer abortions - or say they're pro-life until it comes to brown children who come from over an arbitrary line denoted by a river.

Look, it's not that they're all Christians either. I know a lot of Christians who are basically kind and decent people. They try to live the actual word they were taught as children, loving their neighbors and turning the other cheek. Of course, none of them have any power in the secular world whatsoever. They're just not ruthless enough as a group for that.

This is why I've been on Facebook Lite Mode for a week or so. I know it's using my privilege to back off from the hard stuff. I'm still reading about it (off Facebook), still writing about it (generally comment-and-run), but I cannot immerse myself in it anymore - especially not the comments sections - without becoming absolutely useless to everyone.

So Facebook Lite - I've started #ClassicTrekWithAbby, which is interesting, light, and still explores some (a lot, actually) of the same themes we are dealing with today. Racism, sexism, serious amounts of hate by people who should know better. And I don't think it's hypocritical of me (or Abby, 15) to enjoy the lighter bits of it in the process. Her love of the dance-style fight choreography, for instance ("very West Side Story, mom!), and the mind-boggling dichotomy of progressive plotlines paired with barely-there skirts; these are good lessons.

And they may be the reason I am so bothered by that hypocrisy up there; I was raised on Star Trek and Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. I know better.

The people allegedly in charge? They should know better too. And that they don't act that way might be the biggest hypocrisy of all.

About Me

Reading through Facebook and Google Plus and online news sites - and feeling sick about what I read - and I just thought I'd share my thoughts and feelings about... well, lots of stuff. Feel free to disagree (see point 2) but if you're a jerk about it, I'll block you.

1. I may believe in a higher power. I don't know for sure, so I call myself an agnostic-leaning theist, although I am culturally Christian, celebrating the major Christian holidays and such. I do know that Christianity the way the likes of the current administration's members claim is not the Christianity I was taught about. Saul/Paul was a bigoted jerk and most of the recent crop (in power) seems to be following him rather than the guys who reportedly hung out with Jesus. I just try to be a decent person and a good parent. I usually - but not always - succeed.
2. On a similar note, I only care about your belief systems, sexuality, color, gender, ability, physical and mental health, (and so on) insofar as they are interesting. They are part of you, and none of them define you on their own. So yes, your characteristics and beliefs make you interesting. I'm not going to judge you for them as long as no-one is hurt by them (at least, no-one who is not a fully informed consenting adult). 
3. I feel that "President Trump" (air quotes intentional) is a horrifying example of a human being (along with others in his administration and both houses of Congress, especially Ryan, Sessions, Huckabee Sanders, and DeVos, but they are freaking legion), but I still try really hard to focus on the behavior, and the statements made, not the orangeness of the skin or the fakeness of the hair or the tiny hands. I spent all this energy learning to tell my kids when their behavior is bad, not they themselves. And although I may believe it of the folks listed above, I'm not going to pick on the size of their body parts.
4. I worry about Barron Trump.
5. Abortion is lessened when birth control is discussed. It's a fact.
6. Ditto teen pregnancy.
7. The shit our (U.S.) government is doing is, in fact, shit. How dare they treat helpless children like cattle because their parents didn't come into the country legally? And try to use the name of God to justify it! Thing is, as near as I can tell, they believe what they're saying. I mean, I can't tell with "President Trump" because he's erratic. But the others I listed up there, trying to say this shit is God's will because Trump said so? And the people who honestly believe it and support them? I just can't fathom it. 
1. In fact, I told a friend I didn't understand it - all of it from border crap to protesting against kneeling football players- and he said it was racism. I'm sure it is, but that doesn't mean I understand it. I just do not grok.
2. Also, healthcare and guns. Other first world countries do not have the problems we have with these. Do Trump supporters think this is a coincidence? Facts exist. 
8. Climate change is a real thing. The earth is (almost) round like a ball, not a disc. We did land
   
   on the moon (and I'm reserving judgment on whether we were told on international television to kill all the Silence on sight).
9. I'm not only an autism awareness advocate; I'm an autism acceptance advocate. People who want to "cure" it, I feel you, and some of you have a lot harder row to hoe than me. But just because it's different doesn't mean it's wrong or bad or an illness. Or caused by vaccines. 
10. SCIENCE. Live it. Love it. Be one with it. Vaccinate the kids. Look at the facts as well as the faith.

For crying out loud, just be decent human beings!

Land in Sight!

We're still swimming, and now we seem to be actually getting somewhere.

You see, today would have been Laston's birthday, had he lived past 51. And I'm a little sad, of course. But I'm maintaining, and I'm functional, and that's certainly better than this time last year.

Part of this is due to the Calm app on my phone; meditation is a great way to keep on an even keel (just to extend the oceanic metaphor). Their Sleep Stories are fabulous too. And sleep is its own healing. I've been getting enough of it lately, and that's a big deal in and of itself.

And my sister-in-law, Tori (who happens to share Laston's birthday, so happy birthday, Tori!), used a phrase the other day that really seems to be helping me. "Relentless Positivity!" Anyone who knows - anyone who has ever even met - Tori knows that she lives and breathes this phrase. And it struck me as a very Hufflepuff (loyal and kind) version of Mad-Eye Moody's "Constant Vigilance!" There is truth in faking it until you make it, and I can fake Relentless Positivity™ with the best of 'em.

Still no job, though a good prospect or two, in part because I realized that it's not call center work itself that is the problem for me. It was call center work in that time and place, with those wonky retail-esque hours. Once I opened up my mind (with Relentless Positivity™) to call center work in a smaller company, with a more important (to my mind) mission, and reasonable hours for a widowed mom... well, I started getting a lot more hits on my resume, people actually calling me back and stuff.

This certainly helps me be relentlessly positive!

I can see the beach from here, and the view is glorious.