I'm speaking here of the two who live with me; they are the ones I interact with most, naturally.
It is a little strange, just the three of us, even a couple-three months later. Halloween was odd, especially, because even though I really like the folks who were here and the festivities were in my own home, I was so done peopling by the time it was over I could have screamed. Stupid temporary introversion. It would perhaps be less weird if Lizzy was old enough to leave her here alone for more than a tried to the junior high school bus stop for her sister. My mom is still primary chauffeur, but she can no longer leave Lizzy with her dad if I'm not home when Abby needs to go somewhere. Or have Laston here to answer the door while I take the little kids out Trick-or-Treating.
So Lizzy goes with, instead, which leads to lack of sleep (she's never been good about going to bed, and yeah, some of that is my fault, more later on that topic), and apparently a susceptibility to whatever crud going around that results in headache and fatigue and little else.
The fact that I've overscheduled them again this year probably doesn't help. Last year it was to keep them busy so they wouldn't fret overmuch, and this year to keep them busy because a) depression/grief and b) they really enjoyed it last year.
Routine is good.
Now, about my fault that Lizzy doesn't sleep. Here's the thing: she has always been that child who wants to stay up in case she misses something. When we were all crammed into a two-bedroom apartment, we tended to put her to bed with the TV going (on what we call "baby shows") just to nail her to the bed and keep her out of everyone's hair. It became a habit. And yes, I know it's not good for her to have electronics buzzing around her, especially in bed at night. I do appreciate the concern of the people who worry about this on her behalf.
But at the moment, I'm not taking what amounts as a security blanket away from her. Her therapist agrees with me.
Did I mention she's in therapy? She is, and it seems to be helping her a lot. (As an aside, I didn't realize there was such a specialty as Pediatric Grief Counseling, but there is). We're only a couple sessions in, but so far so good. There is also assessment involved, to see whether some of her quirkier behaviors are symptomatic of ADHD or Asperger's or what-have you. The neuro-psychologist says that there is a lot of overlap, and she would not be surprised by either in Lizzy's case. As we don't plan to medicate - the focus items work great, and we just want them to be official - this is just a matter of waiting for available assessment dates.
As for Abby, she's sad, and grieving but she is both easier-going than Lizzy and older, and has a bigger support system. Her dad has been great - especially as her weekends with him have been interrupted a lot with her theater activities - and super supportive, and she has friends and classmates who get the issues a lot better than Lizzy's (the difference between nearly-14 and nine is huge when it comes to things like these).
And me? I have a blog. I have friends and family. I have a open invitation at a couple of widows' groups and at the Evergreen Hospice Care Center.
Maybe after the Overscheduled Autumn is over...