Yes, You Are Part of the Problem. So am I.

A cartoon of me, a chubby brunette-and-grey
woman wearing blue, with an angry
expression and her right hand up near her
forehead. There is a thermometer shaded
green to red, with the top broken and the 
caption "I've had it up to here."

I have a few things to say here, and I’m not sorry. This stuff is really bugging me; the cognitive dissonance is strong (and I don’t know why it’s not the same for those of you for whom this applies). Holding such starkly opposing views so strongly should cause cognitive dissonance... and if it doesn’t, there’s some work you need to do. There are a lot more examples than just those listed here, and I’m sorry if I missed yours, but writing all these out is depressing.

Note: all scare quotes in this piece are deliberate. They indicate terms that are not in fact anything like what they say they are.

• If you are “pro-life” but not pro-helping people and their parents out after they’re born, then you are part of the problem. And not really pro-life. And probably a racist, as many of you claim the incidence is higher in “those kinds of people.”

• If you have a problem with “those kinds (poor) of people having nice things,” then you are part of the problem. And most likely a racist, since most of you claim that there are zillions of “welfare queens” who are usually unemployed, inner-city, single, Black moms pumping out kid after kid for more benefits. This is not true.

• If you are “pro-life” but also anti-immigration (especially refugees), then you are part of the problem. And not really pro-life. And probably a racist, as you usually have no problem with folks immigrating from Northern European countries.

• If you’re “pro-life” and also pro-gun to the extent that we do it in the so-called “United” States of America, then you are part of the problem. And - again - not really pro-life.

• If the first thing out of your mouth when yet another Black person is killed by police is “they should have complied” or “they shouldn’t have been there,” then you are part of the problem. And a racist.

• If the first thing out of your mouth when yet another mass shooting occurs is to defend the (usually white) shooter, then you are part of the problem. And a racist.

• If your urge is to decry violence toward property by people of color and the people supporting them, but excuse violence toward people by white people because they were “confused” or “bullied” or “involuntarily celibate,” then you are part of the problem. And a racist. And also someone with seriously skewed priorities.

• If you think you can’t be a racist or a bigot because you have friends or family or coworkers who are a different color or religion or culture than you are, then you are part of the problem. And, in spite of your assertion, a racist and a bigot.

• If you think transgender women are really just “men in drag so they can peep at women in locker rooms,” then you are part of the problem. And a transphobe, though there should be a better word for this because you aren’t scared, you’re uncomfortable. And quite possibly the pervert you are accusing them of being.

• If you think that girl-on-girl is hot, but men having public displays of affection is disgusting, then you are part of the problem. And a homophobe (see transphobe, above). And a hypocrite.

• If you think transgender people are “only really trans” after they have had “the surgery,” then you are part of the problem. And misinformed, or deliberately remaining ignorant. Or both.

• If you think that masking up and respecting social distance is a violation of your God-given rights, then you are part of the problem. And misinformed about government and public health, or deliberately remaining ignorant. Or both.

• If you think your business is more important than other people’s ability to continue breathing in and out, then you are part of the problem. And a bad citizen.

• If you are unwilling to vaccinate because “it has a 99.xx% survival rate,” then you are part of the problem. And misinformed that the survival rate is the only number that matters, or deliberately remaining ignorant. Or both.

• If you would “do anything” to get your kids back in a physical classroom during a pandemic… except have them tested for Covid-19 or abide by social distancing rules, then you are part of the problem. And a hypocrite. And a bad example.

• If you are a purist about every last word in a meme or an article and feel the need to point out the minutiae and play devil’s advocate, then you are part of the problem. And a jerk.

I did the last one on this list myself, within the last twelve hours. I’m not immune. But I’m honest enough with myself to own it when it’s pointed out to me.

Are you?