Sick and Tired

Not physically. 

But emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually.

I'm reminded of a song by comedian and musician Bo Burnham. It's called Sad, and contains the line, "my empathy is bumming me out." 

Oh boy, isn't it?

Think of how much harder it must be for people who live this stuff every day than it is for my privileged ass. And there are plenty of folks who have more privilege than I do - I unfriended and even blocked some I know in real life this week - who think they don't have it at all.

I'm trying to stay in my own lane online, and if you know me at all, you know that jumping to others' defense before I have all the facts is something I do habitually (and  I'm working on that). So I'm supporting Black Lives and other people fighting for the side of right, but I'm staying out of their way.

That said, some other ah - current events - are in my wheelhouse. Critical thinking, single parenting, allergies and related healthcare issues, special education - these are things in which I actually have training, first-hand knowledge, or both. People are exhausting right now, even for extroverts.

Some of that stuff is covered in this roundup of false news stories collected by the Associated Press - if the AP is compelled to get into Snopes territory of fact-checking outrageous claims, you know things are a mess. Some are issues of common sense and/or basic decency to me, but others are more concerned with their perception of constitutional rights (hint: nowhere in the constitution does it say you can't be required to wear a mask in public). Some people are willing to die on a hill of Black people finding white use of black emoji offensive. Some issues are too early to call, but everyone is still arguing about them anyway, like what school will be like in the fall. 

Look. On that last? We don't know yet. Just because a neighboring district is sharing their works in progress doesn't mean that that'll be the final state of affairs... for their district or ours. 

Believe me, I understand hating the moving target. I am not a spontaneous person; I like my ducks in a nice neat row, thank you very much. I learned to deal with the new normal and the moving target eventually, but I still hate not knowing WTF is going on. I get it, I really do, and I still feel that way. I'm trying to stay chill - mindful, if you prefer more formal nomenclature - of the world around me. Right now the world around me simply doesn't know. 

Are you an epidemiologist? No? Then you probably don't know more about the transmission of viruses than they do.

And neither do I. Or my county sheriff. Or anyone else who isn't listening to epidemiologists.

I've said it before, but I am super grateful that I'm not responsible for decision-making for a group larger than a household. 

Because if I'm exhausted by people who refuse to think or use logic or empathize, imagine how my state governor or my school superintendent or my county health commissioner must feel right now...