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Friday, December 16, 2016


At this point, just the title sounds like a novel about the Beginning of the End, the prologue to the Rebuilding Civilization arc of the bulk of the story.

I sure hope it is.

Because previous posts notwithstanding, even with the good days now (generally) outnumbering the bad, this has been a hell of a week.

It started with a neighbor kid telling Lizzy something so hurtful that her grandmother and I are still angry about it a week later, though Lizzy herself seems to be doing okay, based on observation and her teacher's and therapist's reports. I'm not going into the details here; the neighbor kid is after all a kid, and while I am still very pissed off, the issue has been resolved by parents, apologies, and whatever punishment his folks doled out over and above the apology.

But it set a bad tone.

Saturday was Abby's birthday, and day three of four 'Twas the Night three-show days (the last one being this Sunday). It was a Good Day for the most part; I wrangled the toys for two of the three shows, saw one of the shows, and then we went to Grandma's for a birthday dinner and gifts for Abbs. Fun times.

Sunday I woke up with a fever and a sinus headache - oh joy - and spent the day in bed.

Monday there was less fever and I went to work, with a doc appointment in the middle of the day. Yeah, whatever, viral, blah blah blah. Stress. You think?

Tuesday was work and was tolerable. But now my dishwasher won't drain, just to add to the pile of death-of-a-thousand-paper-cuts that is my life this year. And oh, goody, more medical bills (as Washington is a Community Property State, I get to pay medical bills for a deceased spouse... unless the creditor is feeling generous. Most of them don't). So I have a likely dishwasher repair or replace and a bunch more medical bills to add to the new brakes of earlier this month. Terrific.

Wednesday was nice in the morning ("Mom, you're a lot less shouty after your massage," says Liz) and fun in the evening, as Leanna came over and we decorated the tree. The in-between times were good for Lizzy (her grief counseling session was really good) and very very blah for me. The anxiety is ramping up here, and I don't really know why (except see above). I keep jiggling my legs and twisting my fingers. Ask my mom sometime what that means.

Thursday I worked all day and then took Lizzy to brownie scouts after a short drive (so we didn't arrive too early) to see Christmas Lights. It was fine but I'm still all finger-twisty and weird.

Today's my day off. It's Weight Watchers (and our meeting was good), and I'm still in that up-and-down-five-pounds I've been in for months (because stress, you think maybe?) and now I'm just trying to get this all out on "paper" so I can escape into silly books or BSU or sleep until Abby gets home from school and I have to put my game face back on.

After I wash dishes by hand.

And fold yet more laundry.

Maybe I'll just go back to bed.