The Bare Necessities...

...or Piano Basics for the Recalcitrant Preteen

Okay, so Lizzy’s piano teacher (shout out to Michelle C at 4/4 Music) is awesome. She’s written her own beginning piano books, teaches piano and voice, and is an all-around Patient Human Being.

Which you have to be when teaching Lizzy.

Don't get me wrong; Lizzy is a great kid. She is kind, generous, empathetic, and super smart. She's also adolescent, know-it-all, lazy, and often puts the ass is Asperger's (though these days it's called Autism Spectrum Disorder Level One: Minimal Support Required, because Hans Asperger was a Nazi).

Some of her issues with piano are related to autism - like her inability to cope with the fact that 6/8 and 3/4 are not the same thing in music notation as they are in math - and some (probably most) are just Being Almost Twelve and Snarky With It. She has also recently had the Growth Spurt That Ate Seattle - a whole new wardrobe including shoes and all in the last three months (thanks, Kirkland Grandparents, for helping with that!)

These are not excuses for her lazy attitude toward practicing, but they are likely contributing factors; they certainly were for me at her age. She gets bored with songs she doesn't already know, and doesn't seem to grok the need for exercises like etudes or "baby songs" as building blocks (she does seem to grok scales, arpeggios, and chords as building blocks, but that's a different post, I suspect. Or maybe a paper for a pediatric neuropsychologist).

In any case, she's willing enough to do her scales and all that, but she seems to dislike most songs she doesn't know, and I was getting frustrated. She doesn't have a lesson next week as her teacher will be out, or the week following because it's her twelfth birthday and I can't see her being able to cope with the first day of middle school, her birthday, dinner, and a music lesson in the same day. We use her makeup days for Abby's voice lessons over and above the ones her dad bought her for her birthday (whenever we can squeeze them in) so there's no loss there.

So I was discussing with Awesome Teacher Michelle C, and she said that there are in fact beginner books for piano for Disney or anime, or current pop songs, whatever Lizzy might be interested in. And I thought, hey, her is birthday coming up, and her Amazon wishlist needs more updating in addition to what we did this afternoon, so...

So, any ideas, Internet Hive Mind? Aside from Goodnight My Someone, I suspect, (if it's in a manageable key) because I know that one is a beginning piano song... it's right there in the play... any particularly good (easy/beginner; she knows three major keys as of yet) piano books in the animation, current pop, or musical theater categories?

Old Home Week

Names and Places have been changed to protect the innocent.

Not that there's any need, really, but it was odd, this week was.

Monday night we had a friend - one of my friends, for a change, rather than one of the kids' friends - over for dinner. It was nice; Abby made her usual Pantry Chow Mein, but a gluten-free version for this friend. Now, I've known this woman - we'll call her Issy - for maybe ten years; I think Lizzy was a toddler when we met. She's the fiancee of a dear friend of Laston's, she now lives in Eastern Washington, but she was over this side for some family stuff. So she came to dinner. And we're talking about an incident from Laston's memorial, when my mom saw Issy's fiance in the grocery store before the homegrown memorial, and he looked so much like Laston to her that when he walked up my garden path later that afternoon, she seriously thought for a split second that we were being haunted. 

So Issy and I were talking about this and laughing a little - the way you do when it's simultaneously hilarious and sad - and she mentioned that my mom always looked familiar to her. We keep chatting about growing up in the area and it comes out that of course my mom looked familiar, and not just because we look like family, but because Issy was in and out of our house and we hers all the time thirty-to-thirty-five years ago. She and my sister were in the same 4-H group or troop or whatever they call it in 4-H, and so I knew her back then, because although I was not part of the group, I was Chief Hair Braider for the girls in it.

Wow. 

And then today, after all the usual scolding from my therapist about taking care of myself during the week leading up to the anniversary of Laston's death and the back-to-school rush, I took myself out to lunch. Lizzy's at Grandma's, Abby's at YAPI, and as I had to bring Abby's forgotten lunch to her anyway, and I was out, I went to eat something I don't usually get when Miss Picky and Miss Allergic are with me.

The server was very nice, and it was late for lunch - about two in the afternoon - so she wasn't busy. As I was headed out the door, the server - we'll call her Bea - rushed to hug a customer coming up to the door. I smiled and asked if he was a regular, and she said, "Oh, I've been taking care of him at my jobs for almost a decade, even when I worked down at Restaurant X."

Wait. 

"You worked at Restaurant X? And your name is Bea? Did you maybe know my husband? Laston Kirkland?"

"Yeah, I was just wondering why I hadn't seen him for a while - he was the guy with the science fiction book, right?"

Right.

Wow again.

I knew the Seattle area was a trifle incestuous in the Tech Work sense. 

But this was two incidents spanning three days. Not even including the lady who gave me a manicure being so pleased I came in again because she wanted me to practice her English on.

Wow.

Patriotism, by Jingo!

I've been putting off writing this.

Usually writing helps me feel better about whatever it is that's bothering me, but I've had a really bad time getting started with this one.

It's not just the topic; I've written about plenty of difficult topics in the past.

It's not the possibility of "losing friends" either; I'm no stranger to tackling politics or controversy.

I think it's mostly that I shouldn't fucking have to.

People are simply more important - regardless of color, gender, sexuality, national origin, religion, whatever - than your petty little squicks and cash money.

Look, I'm a cis- (opposite of trans- for those who aren't aware), straight, white female. I get some flack for the female part, and I'm definitely subject to fatphobia from some people, but what most of you see is a straight white woman, and the fact that I'm a widow tends to make people more forgiving (as though I needed forgiveness) of the fat. But I don't come in for the kind of stupid -isms I see around me all the time. So please forgive me if I'm stepping out of my lane here; I'm trying to use my privilege for good.

In our country - and to some extent our planet - money for political bigwigs is more important right now than human life. And some people bought that swill hook, line, and sinker; they even get violent (verbally as well as sometimes physically) with people who disagree... even though they themselves are also hurting financially. I can't even with this brand of (il)logic.

For these people, money is evidently Almighty God, and the Trump Administration is its profit. And yes, I did spell that wrong. It was deliberate.

I don't understand how to get it through people's heads.

Immigrants, people of color, LGBTQ+ folk, Muslims, black women playing fictional characters based on mythological creatures, wheelchair users using food stamps, whomever... they're not hurting anybody. They're not taking away your livelihood or your toys or anything.

Yeah, yeah, a few Muslims this, a couple gay people that, two or three Central American refugees on the other hand. Sure, some of them are bad people. You know why?

Because they're fucking people, that's why.

Human beings, with skills and flaws like everyone else.
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"But they're taking our jobs!"

No, they're not. They're taking whatever they can get; if that's a job you could have had if you deigned to do so AND you were willing to take less than minimum wage to do it, then why didn't you go and get it? Oh, because you had the good fortune to be an able-bodied straight white person born in the USA?
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"But they killed us on 9/11!"

And you, who deny reparations or even apologies to Native Americans and the descendants of slaves want what? A whole people to be punished for what a few fanatics did? Please note Westboro Baptist and the Spanish Inquisition and the Burning Times and slapping Native children into indoctrination "residential schools" and coverups of assorted clergy raping little boys before you weep.
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"But (smugly) they entered the country illegally!"

Not all of them. Not even most of them. Going to a checkpoint and applying for asylum is the way to do it. Never mind that a lot of them are fleeing from horrible systems that we helped create back in the 80s. Never mind children being included with their parents for fleeing. Never mind separating the parents from the kids because a few of the adults might be bad actors. Never mind the way they're treated in custody; we don't treat convicted murderers as badly as we do these people.

None of that is the real reason, and if you bother to open your eyes you will see it.
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"But OMG, the gays! The Bible says..."

First of all, the Christian Bible, which most of you purport to adhere to, says nothing about it. The Old Testament does, in the same places as the Kosher Laws, but the so-called "Christians" who say this sort of bullshit are supposed to be going by the New, not the Old (I've never heard a Jewish person decry LGBTQ+ folk as much as these people who call themselves Christians do. Again, there are probably a few, because... that's right, they're human).

Secondly, all the LGBTQ+ folk I have ever known - and I live in Seattle - just want to be, you know, not-killed-or-beaten-up because of who they sleep with. You don't like Drag Queen Story Time? Don't take your kids to it. But also don't be surprised when kids who have attended don't want to date your indoctrinated homophobic little dears when they grow up.
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I'm not going to even discuss the combined idiocy and evil of this administration, or whether Pence is such a homophobe because he's a closeted gay man (irrelevant), or the good old days when the worst we dealt with was the Bush family's passive-aggressive brand of racism, or the utter fallacy of you-have-to-be-Christian-to-be-good, or the idiots denying climate change, or the way we treat disabled people. We've covered all that before.

All this is a very roundabout way of saying how disgusted I am with our country right now. I'm a patriot. I love my country. I also - as with everything I love - recognize its faults. And they are fucking legion.

I do what I can. I haven't the income to give much in cash and I really don't have the emotional bandwidth or physical health to go out marching for justice. But I have the ability to write, the electronic bandwidth, a degree in intercultural communications, and I call out the bullshit when I see it.

The people who need to hear this most will either ignore it or won't read it at all. Or they will read it... but not realize it applies to them.

And that's just sad.

School Year End?

Yes, I know some of you are already out of school. But here in the PNW, we don't usually finish school until mid-June, and this year, Snopocalypse 2019 made that even later. I think our last day has been pushed out to the 24th or so.

So, a month left. But the end-of-school activities are such that I actually had Abby make me a list of all the school, Studio East, and social activities she has planned, so I can add them to mine and Lizzy's (Lizzy is 11; I still keep her calendar). That month or so left is going to be busy. And I still need to triple-check with the Studio about some things both for Abby and for me, because they may come into play the second weekend in June.

As an example, this week after school/work we have one piano lesson, one ASL rehearsal, and three evenings of continuing to earn Studio East tuition. This is in addition to homework, practicing piano or ASL at home, and the like. Friday night we have the first ASL performance, Saturday we're going to see a matinee at Studio East, and Saturday night there is a second ASL performance. Forget "soccer mom" because the mom of any child with extracurriculars of any sort is just as busy. Sunday I have my online World of Darkness game, which is Mommy's fun time; the kids are old enough to do their own thing for an afternoon every other week.

That's just this week coming up.

Yesterday both kids went to separate activities and different times: Lizzy went on this amazing adventure at iFly with her Girl Scout Troop yesterday ( I told you how awesome her leaders are!). 

And Abby went to a reunion karaoke party for all the students who were in their cast of Into the Woods last spring. And one of the kids - I think he's 17 - organized it; he came up with the idea, found a venue, got a karaoke guy, ordered pizza, all of it, as far as Abby is aware. She just showed up with her voice ready for karaoke and had a blast!

In any case, between the end of the school year which affects my job too, performances both attending and performing, Laston's birthday and Fathers' Day (we have plans to keep us busy and relatively happy), and the beginnings of summer camps (both attending and camp-counseling), it's gonna be nuts around here! If I don't post for a month or so, you know why.

Respect

I have it, in spades, for the leaders of our Girl Scout troop, in a similar way that I do for teachers.

And I only seem to become aware of all they do when I'm a volunteer/chaperone.

You see, it's easy to forget - in the day-to-day - how much they do. Except for Cookie Season, when we all pitch in, and Service Days like the one we just did today, when there are parent volunteers. Today was a relatively calm one of these, as we had eight Scouts and six adults; they didn't outnumber us by too much.

These are good kids; they've been working on their Promise and Law, after all. But they're still kids, ranging from nine to eleven, with all that entails. Personality clashes, fatigue after a long day of service, the beginnings of puberty, neurodivergence, and the usual schoolyard squabbles over who does what.

Given that  I got up this morning at five to take my mom to the airport, only to find that our water heater turned itself off again (and apparently the quick flip of the breakers I did at five didn't change anything, so I just went and flipped them again), I think I coped pretty well.

So yeah, got up at five, cleaned up as well as possible without hot water, took my mom to the airport (all the way on the opposite side of Seattle; thank goodness it's a weekend!), took her car back to her place, loved on her cat, took a shower, and walked home (only a matter of a couple blocks worth of fairly uneven terrain, but I'm still getting used to this exercise thing). Then Liz and I took off for the Service part of Service Day, which was helping a local food bank sort and pack their pantry stuff for their clients. Then I took Lizzy and a sister scout to lunch with the group (complete with misunderstandings of how much was allowed and a hoodie left at the food bank), then we all went to Target to perform the Money part of Service Day - buying toys and books and things for kids their age at Seattle Children's Hospital, and finally took the sister scout home before coming home myself.

I'm beat.

But in spite of all that unaccustomed activity, and issues like no-hot-water, and a small bobble on both Lizzy's and my part at Target, we did well. Out of spoons/bandwidth/spell slots, but we did okay.

And at least some of that is due to the good offices of our troop leaders.

Respect.

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

Or companies, anyway. And this is - surprise! - not (primarily) a post about the weather (beautiful), my allergies (awful), everybody's mental or physical health (improving), politics (yeah... nevermind), or money troubles (currently solvent).

This is a post about three companies I really, really like.

The first of these you all know about if you've been reading my blog for any length of time. Studio East is a home-away-from-home for us, a teacher, a counselor, an employer, a volunteer opportunity, a place to find new friends and reconnect with old ones, and above all, really excellently great at what they do. And what they do is legion. There are up to eight "mainstage" plays per year, homeschooling classes, school break classes, summer camps (including YAPI - the Young Actors Performance Intensive - which is the six-week-long performing arts camp for teenagers, and it's well... intense), community events like the Kirkland Independence Day Parade, and opportunities for the older students to work as camp counselor assistants to earn some of their own tuition.

I'm sure there are more things that I've forgotten because there are just so many things they do, but there you are. What they're doing right now? Tonight is opening night for Peter and the Starcatcher, running for three weekends. Come see it; it's hilarious!

While we're talking about the Performing Arts, I want to tell you about 4/4 School of Music. You see, while Abby thrives in the quick-change atmosphere of musical theater, and Lizzy enjoys her time there, Liz needs more structure in her day-to-day to succeed. We first started her with private piano lessons, and the instructor was nice enough, but her method was pretty inflexible and focused on form. Lizzy just wants to play the piano, and she needs a teacher willing to accommodate her quirks. We switched to 4/4 School of Music just over a year ago and we love it there. Our teacher, Michelle C., teaches at both the Canyon Park and Lynnwood schools, and the place has schools in several different states, while still managing to be a family business. 

Most importantly, Michelle learned the best ways to accommodate Lizzy very very quickly, most notably getting very specific as to how to practice; instead of saying "practice for half an hour," which is way too unspecific for Liz, she made a chart (on her own initiative) with the number of times Lizzy should practice each piece, scale, arpeggio, chord, etc. And while Lizzy may be picking this stuff up more slowly than some of Michelle's other students (like her maternal grandfather, she has an excellent ear, so if it "sounds wrong" she has trouble sticking to the written music), she's enjoying herself, learning a valuable skill and discipline, and getting some daily routine for something that's not "just school."

Now, speaking of Lizzy, my last company of the post is Awesome. In fact, it's Princess Awesome. The idea is that just because your kid is a girl, it's still okay - even encouraged - for her to love both pink and trains, or sparkles and math, or frills and dinosaurs. And it was a problem for these two moms who started the company - as it was for me - because as a rule, you can find the pink, sparkly frills in the girls' section, and the trains, math, and dinos in the boys' section. This led to a lot of pairings (at least at our house) of orange stem t-shirts marketed for boys with pink, sparkly, frilly skirts. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's not the best look ever, either. So these lovely ladies - read about them and their brand at the link above - made Princess Awesome for these girls.  Zoom in on Lizzy's Dancing Robots dress and headband under the Girl Scout Vest.

What's that? What about boys? The boys' line - Boy, Wonder - is coming out in spring or summer. As is the adult women's line, up to size 26 (though I don't know if they're calling that something different. Queen Awesome, maybe?) and with some stretch. It's a goal for me, as I generally wear a 28/30. And in the meantime, I can wear their accessories, like the awesome (ha!) game-controller infinity scarf.

Support these guys, folks, really. They're good stuff, made (or taught) by good people.