Random Thoughts Around Neurospiciness

A rainbow "color-picker" infinity symbol with the phrase
Why light it up blue... when we have a whole spectrum?

I was responding to a Facebook post about infantilizing autistic people and the evidently obsessive need of some adults to label autism (and other neuro stuff) with functioning or mental-age labels for ease of categorization.

I ended up writing a small novel on the topic, so I am copy-and-pasting it below:

I have a 15yo AuDHD daughter (I probably am as well, but they weren't calling it that in 1983 when I was tested).

She loves chaotic characters in her fantasy fiction, magnets, Minecraft, beading, knowing ridiculous amounts of FNaF lore, acrylic paint, her older sister, shucking corn, and showing off her encyclopedic knowledge of random trivia.

She hates being infantilized, people expecting her to keep up "because she doesn't look autistic," unrealistic expectations, adults not explaining why, and bigotry.

Are these because she's autistic? Or ADHD? Or fifteen years old? Or because we lost her father when she was eight? Or is she just a child of the 21st century? Who knows?

It's silly (and ableist) to put people in tiny little boxes to make it easier to categorize them, as though they were so many left-handed socket wrenches or something.

My motto - and that of her best teachers, thank goodness - is "Meet the kid where they are."

And also, please let them speak for themselves when they can. I mean, you can help them, support them, advocate for them... but it's about them, not about you.

This is Too Much

I am perhaps a bit on edge today because I just got a call that clearly came from my kid's high school and I actually started to cry. 

Out of sheer worry.

Because, you know, the world is falling apart and a bunch of people are more worried about whether a drag queen is reading Doctor Seuss to kids than whether the whole school gets shot up by a former student with a gun and a grudge.

"Hi, Ms. Kirkland, this is TeacherName from the SchoolName Social Studies department, and I have your name on a list of theme readers (note: folks who help teachers grade papers) and wondered if you have availability."

I don't, right now, but a simple call from a number I recognize should not inspire dread. He was very apologetic, and said he should have led with everything-is-fine, but he didn't know I was a parent for that school too.

The fact that they even think they should have to worry about that phrasing - I mean, he's not the school nurse in charge of my anaphylactic kiddo - being the first thing when they call a helper, is terribly disheartening.

Six Weeks Later (Knee)

A pale arm giving a thumbs-up

Knees with soft-tissue injuries are reputed to take four-to-six weeks to heal.

Just finished Week Six and it's considerably better, but it still has a ways to go. I'm off crutches, wearing the knee brace except in bed, and using a cane (and I have gotten quite good with the cane, actually). Still meeting my daily fitness goals per my Apple Watch, just hit my first hundred-day streak, and am now experienced enough with the thing to get irritated that it doesn't allow for things like knee injuries. Not in and of itself, anyway; I need to find an app for that.

Anyway, a follow-up appointment for my knee today. My blood pressure is down (yay!) even though I went off the extra BP medication earlier this week (I do not need a side effect of cough in the springtime when there's already asthma and alder pollen and all the covidness of it out there), and it appears that naproxen (Aleve) causes my BP to spike as well. So I went off both of those of my own volition (informed my doctor) and my BP is still okay. It's possible it was just quite high when I went in six weeks ago because of pain and white coat syndrome and my unreasoning-but-understandable hatred of Totem Lake near the hospital.

The knee is still swollen (doc called it an "effusion") more than it should be. This may be any number of things, but none of them are immediately or urgently harmful. So we're going to do about six weeks of physical therapy and recheck then to see how it's going. In the meantime, try this other NSAID, if it makes my BP spike then I go back to ibuprofen. Less of it than I'm taking now, by preference. Oh, and alternate ice and damp heat instead of just ice.

In other (related) news, my doc is very pleased with how much physical movement I'm getting in, even with the ouchie knee, and quite pleased with my adherence to protocols for things like meds and vitamins and the CPAP machine (and that I have quit coffee and cut way back on dairy and sodium). I am a compliant patient, enough so that when I nope out of something because of its particular side effects (:koff:lisinopril:koff: - literally) she pays attention. That's a mark of a good doctor, in my opinion; they don't just assume that Doctor Knows Best.

So, next steps: get a physical therapist (if my mom's PT takes my insurance I'll go there), get the Rx for the new NSAID (should be ready tomorrow), and find a gamified fitness app that focuses more on general movement than actual buffing or weight loss. If I can lose weight and/or buff up, fine, but for me the point here is to Move My Body.

Or, as my doctor put it, "Movement is Medicine."

Not... Completely Random

Bitmoji cartoon of a chubby woman
wearing a blue shirt, with her brunette/grey
hair up in a topknot, hands on hips, and looking
confused. There is a large blue question mark.

But mostly random.

Every time one of my kids sneezes, I remember to order a new batch of free Covid tests. And then, evidently, I start a blog post.

People are such asshats about things they don't understand. Why do they even care enough to comment? Why do they say things like "this ***** ***** ********* keeps showing up in my feed and I don't know why?" Why is because you keep engaging by posting comments like that one!

And why do they as a group not read hashtags stating clearly that something is actually a joke?

Yeah, yeah. #NotAllAsshats. Whatever.

I have been informed by my 15yo (the one who's sneezing and has an earache, triggering my order-new-tests impulse) that I shouldn't use GenZ slang, even when I'm using it correctly. And yet she objects when I say 'awesomesauce.' How is a GenXer meant to cope with this?

On the other hand, I used a word yesterday - ululate - that made said 15yo stare at me dumbfounded, demand a definition, and then roll her eyes and leave the room.

My knee is much better. I can walk without crutches as long as I wear the brace. Not for long, and not carrying much, but it's fine for moving around the house. I hope to get a letter from my doc to the doc my employer uses, saying that I'm compliant with treatments (high blood pressure and stuff) today, so I can then go to the work doc and be cleared to drive for another year. 

Though I'll probably have to start slow; a trip to the library and then to dinner at our local sushi place was more than enough action for the knee for one day.

The sushi place has a robot serving drinks. When something got in its way it stopped and a little tear appeared on its digital face. Lizzy squealed with such glee! Maybe that's why her ear aches. 

Nah, it's more likely hay fever or a slight cold plugging up the whole upper respiratory system. If it was a full-blown infection, she'd have a fever.

And it's not Covid, we checked, which is why I ordered more tests, and around it goes.

What a Pain

A person wrapped up in bandages
and on crutches, with the caption I'M OK.
The actual injury is much less

Not in the neck.

Not really in the ass, either, although my lower back is unhappy with me.

I blew out my left knee.

And then I went to work anyway because I'm stubborn like that.

So here's the timeline. My left knee and right hand/wrist have been a little stiff and sore when I wake up for months. I'm 54, so I assume that's arthritis, and the knee is worse than the hand because hands are not (generally) weight-bearing joints.

I have plenty of weight to bear.

No real problem, both hand and knee are usually fine by the time I get out of the shower, and the heated seats in my van don't hurt any, either.

On December 27th I got an Apple Watch (thanks, Dad!) for Christmas, and I get more than a little obsessed with closing those circles (aka meeting my Move, Stand, and Exercise goals). This is easier than I thought, but my muscles - being unaccustomed to this sort of use - are a bit achy most days. That's fine; it means the gamified exercise is doing what it is supposed to. And by January 27th (yes, a month later; I refuse to weigh myself all the time. For me, that way lies obsession and discouragement) I have dropped twelve pounds just by standing up when the watch tells me to.

On or around February 22nd my left knee starts to hurt rather more than other parts of me, so I ease off on some of the more standing-up activities. I also consult my mother (who is an old hand at knee injuries) and I decide that if it doesn't feel better by Saturday (the 25th), I'll go to urgent care.

I did not get that far.

In fact, I was walking (probably limping a little) out to my work vehicle. Annnnnd... there's a loud popping noise/sensation and then...

...then I'm stuck. Like I-can't-put-any-weight-at-all-on-my-left-leg stuck.

Well.

Now what do I do?

It's Midwinter Break and very few of us are working, so there's nobody handy. I could grab my phone and call in and ask for help, but I'm not convinced that I can stay upright while rummaging through my purse.

Did it occur to me to use my Apple Watch to call? I mean, all it takes is a 'Hey Siri." But no. It did not.

Luckily one of our very awesome mechanics poked his head out of the garage at this point and asked if I needed help.

Yes, please!

So he helped me to my own car (closer) which I then drove out to the lot where we keep the work vehicles, transferred myself from my own van to my work car, and worked my shift (again, Midwinter Break, so it's just the one student. Also, there is lots of ibuprofen now on board.)

Text from me: Uh, Mom? Yeah, I'm not waiting until Saturday to go to the doc, because the knee just went kablooey.

The reply was not something I should repeat here.

Anyway, I ran my route, came back, transferred back to my work vehicle, arranged a remote clock-out with Payroll (thanks, boss, for the idea; I was dreading trying to stagger to the punchclock), and went to urgent care.

Where I got stuck again.

A very nice person in the parking lot got the staff to grab a wheelchair for me.

I don't really want to relate the entire doctor visit; it was equal parts painful and boring, except for the very kind radiology tech, who gave me printouts of the x-rays for Mad Scientist Lizzy to peruse at her leisure. But I shall sum up: No damage visible in bones or cartilage; this is a soft-tissue injury. Torn or overstretched ligaments, probably the PCL(?) which as I understand it, is one of the ligaments behind the knee that holds the upper and lower leg bones together. Brace or Ace bandage, ice, elevation, rest, Naproxen Sodium. Crutches or other support aids.

For as long as it takes, which can be weeks and weeks with an injury of this type. Bleah.

I am annoyed, ouchie, and amused - because what a clusterf*ck - in pretty much equal parts. It'll be a long ride, but at least I've got helpful offspring and a sense of humor. 

Random thoughts in January 2023

• 

  Image description: a Bitmoji cartoon of me,
  a chubby, fair-skinned, green-eyed,
  brunette-with-gray person wearing blue winter clothing
  and smirking; the caption reads "challenge accepted!"

  I am very glad that my younger child's usual food craving is canned green beans. Note: get more canned green beans.

• I wish Apple had a way to put ActivitySharing notifications in their own folder. I love the kudos and well wishes, but it would be nice if I didn't have to scroll through them all to get at my regular texts, like hey-could-you-pick-up-some-milk and the like.

• And on that note, I yogaed too hard and too fast yesterday. I'm a little sore in spots. Nothing slower and more controlled yoga (plus ibuprofen and a hot shower) can't cure.

• I see that the apples and oranges comparisons are fast and furious this weekend.

• Inazuma is zappy. Piemon is still a menace. It made me feel anxious, so I went back to Liyue for the Lantern Festival.

• The voice actors and event themes in Genshin Impact amuse me. Yesterday's gameplay was all Mulan ("Let's get down to business") and My Hero Acadamia (in Bakugo's voice) and Tangled (floating lanterns).

• I called a cartoon character a brat yesterday. And it wasn't even Caillou. Or Junior.

• Or Piemon.

• I have paperwork to do today.

• And laundry.

• And assisting with Lizzy's Finals Week prep.

• And assisting Abby with her paperwork for school.

• That's... well, that's it. A day (off) in the life.