Why So Mean?

I don't like it when people disagree, online or off; I tend to avoid conflict. And people who know me (or read this blog regularly) know this. I'm getting better at setting (and keeping) boundaries, but I still avoid conflict when I can.

My usual snarky picture for the FAFO crowd;
it shows a Bitmoji cartoon version of me,
a fair-skinned brunette woman looking embarrassed
with the caption OOPSIE WOOPSIE.

Oh, I've gotten into my share of Internet arguments, but I try really hard not to be an asshat, not call names, avoid bringing families (especially children) into it, only fight about the important things rather than whatever randomly irks me, etc. I don't even indulge my grammar notsee tendencies anymore (unless it's actually my job to do so, such as for work or in proofreading my kids' essays). I will freely admit to a certain amount of Schadenfreude regarding people Finding Out after Fucking Around, but I generally limit that to a single snarky remark or meme and then let it go.

So in addition to the people who can't believe that the metaphorical leopard is eating their face after voting for the face-eating leopard party, I really do not understand hate followers/people who think their pet peeve is holy writ/those whiners who complain about stuff appearing in their feed when they have just interacted with it with said complaint.

I've talked about that before too, ad nauseum, so right now I'm diving a little deeper into those folks who feel the need to dictate to/complain at completely harmless vloggers. I mean, I don't understand it, exactly, but I at least have a glimmering of why someone would be annoyed/offended by, say, local politicians or comedians who are punching them when punching up. The truth hurts, after all, and if a stand-up comedian has just punctured your self-satisfied, self-righteous balloon with a well-aimed remark, it's at least comprehensible that you could be upset. Even Mrs Frazzled, as much as I adore her posts, I can understand why folks might not like them. It still doesn't explain hate-following, but maybe she appreciates the views, since her posts are clearly political snark.

But the irritating habit of, say, holding a random New York-based Jewish woman responsible for the crap going down in Palestine? Her vlog isn't even about politics. Or people calling folks like this guy (he makes amazing meals for his wife and daughter and speaks in a very calm kinda ASMR voice) a "beta cuck" because he's making fancy food rather than working a 9-to-5 and a "pedo" because they think his voice is creepy, constantly asserting that "kids won't eat that" because their kids wouldn't, etc etc... those people really annoy me. 

Just scroll on if you don't like his voice or his serving food with chopsticks or his kid eating sushi. Don't yuck other people's yum; there's no call for that. 

Those Tarnished Silver Linings

Bitmoji rendition of a thumbs-up

I've been listening to (and introducing my teenager to) Tom Lehrer's more politically satirical songs. This has given me glimmers of hope because, well, a lot of this stuff has gone down before. The details are different, to be sure, and we hear more about it more quickly (thanks, Internet), but still, a lot of it is SSDD. So a (somewhat tarnished) silver lining of this ridiculous situation that my country is in is that my teenager is - sometimes in spite of herself - more interested in twentieth-century history.

Her thoughts on Wernher von Braun are priceless, but not quoted here without her permission, which I can't ask her for because she is at school. Which is another silver lining; she is enjoying school for the first time in about nine years... but that took almost nine years of massive anxiety and testing and stress and therapy and angst to find the right fit.

I am usually pretty good at finding that silver lining (no matter how tarnished) in any given situation (no matter how grim) and these days it's pretty much a requirement for sanity if one is not an off-grid hermit on a remote mountaintop or something. It's not always big, and it often takes a while, but I can usually manage eventually. Sometimes there's even guilt attached, because I'm the sort who feels guilty about almost everything, just as I worry about almost everything. That's what therapy is for, after all.

I fail to see the silver lining for most of what's going on in the world these days, but little things - like Lizzy enjoying Tom Lehrer and learning from it, or the situation with certain companies giving me that push to order my favorite goodies directly from the manufacturer and benefiting thereby - these things are the silver linings I speak of.